Long awaited...

I know...it has been awhile since I blogged last but I have been busy or pre-occupied.
Let me start with...I had a blast the other night with the ladies again from church doing the pottery painting thing. This time I felt like an old pro at the color selections and it took me no time to decide what to paint and how. I think I could really get into this. The trip down there was fun and scary all at the same time. I think the church needs to start a refresher course on proper driving. After my experience from the Point of Grace concert you would think I would drive myself everywhere...no...but in the future...yes. Now I have rode with this person before to Columbus and Delaware and never have we driven this fast...it only took 18 minutes from her house to Delaware...I think it is about a 25 mile drive. For some you will say...that is possible but we made a stop to pick someone up too. And if you knew the roads we are on...most of it consists of 35 mph zones because of all of the curves. Do you also know that you can pass 2 cars at the same time a lot faster if one of them is slowing down to make a left turn. I decided I was a lot closer to God than I thought because I prayed that we would arrive there unhurt and we did...and we made the trip home unharmed as well. I have also been known to exaggerate a wee bit so...maybe we didn't go THAT fast but we were movin'. Thanks Brenda and Jennifer for going with me and making me laugh and thanks Sarah for driving. (Oops...now you know who NOT to ride with, just kidding). It was fun and a much needed fun night for me and I had the best Mean Mocha from the Mean Bean coffee shop in Delaware. It tasted nothing like coffee which just how I prefer my coffee. Lots of other things to mask the taste of the coffee. Also I learned some very "interesting" and sometimes TMI from some of the people, for instance....JC from Farnum, Ohio has some rather strange habits in cleaning, I would share but like I said....TMI!!! And the story about the garbage disposal and how certain things that are "chunky" shouldn't go down it. Or that time that guy went bowling....OH MAN!!! you had to be there...I laughed and laughed. My cheeks hurt and my face hurt too...LOL. Well...I think I have exhausted all of my blogging abilities for the night. I hope that my friend, (lets just call her), Barbara Brown...enjoys this.


The update on my dad is that he started radiation on Thursday and they are planning on doing that for 2 weeks to shrink the tumors in his brain and then he will do a round of chemo for his liver. They are saying that with the right treatment he could have 2 years. I think the news is better than I had expected...I was expecting them to say it was just a matter of months. So, what does that mean? Well for me it means that I have to try to cram the past 15 years into 2 or less. I have been very neglectful of my responsibilities as a daughter. I haven't been supportive in his decisions or accepting him for who he is, my fault not his. It is sad to me that I have waited until something like this comes along for me to admit that I love him. It is so much easier to wash your hands of someone and say...I hate them, or I just don't get them. So I am working on a picture album for him because I made him a picture of his mom and dad from a picture that was taken at my mom and dad's wedding and he loved it...in fact he cried, something I have never seen him do. He has been crying a lot lately...I think for all that he has missed and for all that he is going to miss with his grandchildren. He struggles now to even verbalize his thoughts because his speech has been so effected by these tumors. I told him that I pray for him everyday, he cried. Strangely enough...I haven't cried. I am still trying to figure that one out.

I am also attaching the photo of my grandparents that I did for my dad...LeRoy and Mabel Jones and a posed picture of my dad...about the only one I know to exist.

How many in your INBOX?

So...I was doing a little computer cleaning, mainly the inbox on my email and realized that I had 119 in my inbox and after looking at each one I realized that there is really no place for them. I mean they don't belong in the "important" folder or the "online bill" folder or the "family history " folder. I don't feel like creating folders for every email like the "funny" folder, the "cute" folder or the "spiritual" folder and some of them wouldn't even fit in those...so I was wondering why do we keep the emails in the first place. I mean I have never went back and read something and thought...This is even funnier the second time or this really needs to be printed and framed. I also have emails in my inbox from MAY. So...how many do you have in your inbox? I would like to say that I did consolidate mine down to 98.

On other note...Tonight was the Popcorn Festival Parade better known as "See a lawn chair and pick it up". This is the only town that you can drive though 2 days before the parade and see lawn chairs along the side of the road just laying there. Now if I was in the market for a really nice chair (and I was a thief) I would scout out a really good chair and swipe it. I would like to give you this wonderful report on how great the parade was but...lets just say...2 1/2 hours, 7 kids (I was there with some friends), and a poorly ran parade. The best part of the parade is when people thought the parade was over so they would pick up their chairs and fold them and put them in their bags only to realize there was more parade so they would unpack their chairs and sit back down. This didn't just happen once but twice. There were some hold ups in the parade line because of the ELGIN band...I said they probably were doing LEFT, LEFT, RIGHT and making circles before someone shouted out the correct order. Who knows. They need someone like me to organize the parade next year. Starting with only letting the first 100 entries in the parade plus the bands. I think they had over 300 entries. There was one obvious absence from the parade, a float that represents our church so we are determined that next year we are going to build a float. At least that is what we are saying now...come next year we may decide against it because of all of the work it involves. But one nice thing came out of it, actually 2, Samuel said tonight as he was going to bed...Thanks mom for making tonight fun. It was worth sitting that whole time to hear him say that. The second thing is I got to spend time with friends. Sorry so long....

Update on my dad: I really don't have much of an update except that he is having a biopsy on Monday and he doesn't seem to realize that his speech is affected by the cancer in his brain. For instance he will be talking and in the middle he will start to slur his words and then it gets clear again. Please continue to pray for us.

Keeping you posted...

So my dad still has cancer. I was hoping that this morning I would wake up and it would be some kind of mistake. The fact is the CT scan came back and said he not only has brain cancer but he also has it in his liver. He was supposed to have a biopsy tomorrow but because of all of the aspirin and blood thinning medicine that they have given him in the hospital, they have to postpone it until next week. They did send him home yesterday because they really weren't doing anything for him in the hospital except feeding him and giving him his medicine. They said the cancer most likely started in his lungs which he already had taken care of, they removed part of his lung a couple of years ago but that it didn't show up until now for some reason. Who knows. I haven't gotten too emotional about the whole thought of this being super serious...I don't know why...maybe I am in denial...OK...I am in denial.
I am a lot like my brother, John, when it comes to my dad...we haven't spent a great bunch of time together not just his fault but mine. I just didn't get him and not sure I do yet. He is so different from all of us...the only thing we have in common is a sense of humor but his is harder than mine to decide whether he is being mean or funny. After the whole lung cancer thing he was a lot more interested in me and my kids and making sure that he was spending time with them. I think it was a bit of wake up call. He has told me in the last couple of days that he doesn't want to die because he has some unfinished business. I would like to think that it includes me. Everyone who knows me or members of my family have misinterupted my relationship with my dad, that I hate him. That is not even close to the truth. I just always felt that he wasn't there for us growing up like "I" would have liked. Maybe if I had not made it some much about the "I", "we" could have the relationship that he could give...whatever that is. I am making sure that I let him know that the problems we had in the past are just the past and that I want to be there for him now and that at the end of the day...he is still my dad and I am still his daughter.

The rest of the story...

So...my week got worse...I know hard to believe. Well not really worse but a steady bad. On Friday at 12:00, about 24 hours from taking Samuel to Urgent Care, I was back in there with Josh. That's right Josh. It seems that we have an imaginary bump in our living room that he managed to trip over. Unfortnately he didn't get his hands down in time to catch himself before his mouth bounced off the floor causing his upper lip to swell up so that the little words that we could understand are now completely muffled. The doctor didn't stitch it because she said it might be more traumtic to stitch than to just let it heal on its own and it wasn't cut on the outside of his lip. So I may be getting a visit from Children Services this week...
So that was Friday...Saturday...I woke up this morning with the hope that TODAY would be a good day...WRONG! As I said in my last post my dad is in the hospital and I figured that they were going to keep him there for awhile to see if he was going to have any more of those TIA (mini-strokes). Well they are going to keep him but not for that. I guess last night he had an MRI of his brain and this morning the neurologist came in and said that they think he has brain cancer and that the cancer is probably not only in his brain but some other places in his body. So they ordered a CT of the rest of his body but the results will probably not be read until Tuesday since this is a holiday weekend and after all no one is supposed to get sick on a holiday....
GREAT!!! So tonight while I was there they gave him his first dose of steriods and a shot of insulin for his diabetes. I guess the steriods will make your sugar go up so they put him on insulin shots starting today. They believe that the TIAs were not those at all but rather seizures from the brain cancer. So...he hasn't said too much about how he is feeling except that he has that kind of "put out" sound to his voice like most of us would...that this is not what he was planning for at all and it sucks. He said today that he isn't even scared to die but he doesn't want to become a vegatable. He is more worried about that than anything. Our family has had the unfortnate experience of watching 2 uncles die of brain cancer/tumors. I can't blame him for feeling that way. I am scared too...I don't want to see him like that either. It is bad enough that he is slurring his words now and he doesn't even hear it. The worse thing about all of this is that he isn't a Christian and I don't know how to approach him about it...I don't want to ask him to talk to the pastor because I know he will think that I think he is dying. Please say a prayer for me and for him and for all of us...we will need it.

What a week!!!

I was going to curse in the title but I decided that it wouldn't make my week any better nor would it make me feel better. I have a really REALLY bad week. Let's start with Monday night as I was sitting in the Chinese restaurant eating and the waitress comes over and says she has an emergency phone call for me. It is my brother, Tom, letting me know that my dad has just had a stroke and he needs me to drive to my dad's house to convince my dad to go to the ER. So I stood up immediately to find out that my legs were not going to hold me because the shock of the news had struck me harder than I thought it ever would. So...I sat for a minute and cried for a second and then regained my composure and took off to my dad's. Once there I was met by Tom and my half brother Justin who is 17, who have finally decided to transport my dad to the ER by themselves...so we all load up in cars and head there. The whole time I am thinking...Is there a reason they didn't call the EMS? But questions that would have to wait. Once there they decide that he had not had a stroke but rather a TIA (whatever that means) except that they said it is a precursor for a more severe stroke. The admitted him overnight and ran a bunch of tests and then sent him home. And so my crappy week starts. Then on Tuesday it is Wayne's birthday but because of my dad being in the hospital, I was a crappy birthday for him and then I also had to take Joshua back to the neurologist and find out what his EEG said. Well good news...his EEG shows nothing wrong and his MRI shows nothing wrong BUT...he might have PDD or a form of autism. OK...not bad what does that mean...more tests...more waiting and maybe he doesn't have it at all and maybe he is just slow for his age and maybe he doesn't talk because he doesn't have anything to say, maybe he falls all of the time because he is clumsy, and maybe, just maybe these crazy outbursts are "normal" for him. But only time will tell. So that was day 2 of my week...I would like to say that Wednesday was uneventful but I really don't remember Wednesday...maybe I fought with my husband all that day because he was tired and I was exhausted and we haven't seen each other or talked to each other in a couple of days because he is working all the time and I have been dealing with doctor's appointments and hospital visits. So...TODAY...just the break I need. I decided to meet a few friends for lunch at Pizza Hut. So I ask grammy to watch Josh...I get in the car to go and my phone rings...It is the school where Samuel goes. They want me to come out because Samuel has fell on the playground and cut his eye and because he hit somewhere on his head they have to have the parents come out and decide what to do. WHATEVER! So I am thinking, quick trip, check it out, sign a form and send him back to class. When I get there he has a boxing type cut above his eye. Not bleeding but busted wide open. Mind you...he is not crying but proud of his battle scar. He was super brave right up until I took him to urgent care for stitches. So...3 stitches later we are on our way back to grammy's to get Josh, who I figured by now has pushed the grandparents to their breaking point. Once we pick Josh up we head for home and it is roughly 5 o'clock or so and like any good parent I insist on a nap...more for the quiet for me than the fact that they were even sleepy. So they wake up around 7 or 7:30. I fix them dinner and I am sitting talking to my mom who decided to come by and see the kids. At about 9:00 my cell phone keeps ringing and ringing. I had just put it on the charger and assumed that it was probably just Wayne asking how my night was going and I figured he would call back later. But the phone kept ringing so I finally checked and it was my brother, Tom...Dad had another episode and the EMS was called this time and he is on his way to the ER. So...I have spent the last 3 hours plus at the ER with dad and they are going to admit him again, run the same tests, and probably send him home. So that has been my week so far....I CAN'T wait to find out what tomorrow brings...

TO BE CONTINUED................

I was alseep until I woke up

Weird title, I know but have you ever said something like that...I have to say it wasn't me who said it but it made me laugh...Like I was watching TV until I turned it off...It is one of those "DUH" moments. For instance...today I went to Applebees with some friends for a birthday lunch and I had bought a cake for after the meal and so I asked the lady cleaning the tables..."Do you have any small plates?" Her answer was "Yes...Did you want some?" I sarcastically said "NO...I just wondered if you had them...Thanks!" So she didn't get me any. She is clearly a black and white person. I have a hard time with people like that. I am always amazed when someone doesn't get the obvious humor in things people say... Here are a few more examples of the "duh" things people say...when you get an obvious haircut like 10 inches off...sure as the sky is blue someone is going to say...Did you get a haircut? I want to say...no I am just combing it over and hairspraying it close to my head so I don't have to mess with it anymore...but thanks for asking. Or you are out somewhere and it is 100 degrees out and you are sweating and someone says "Are you hot?" NO....my body just can't hold anymore and it is starting to seep but thanks for asking. Or if you are tall and someone says...how is the weather up there? You want to say...it has been raining since this morning but I think they are calling for clearing skies later.
To end this blog, here is a little something that my grandpa says that makes me laugh that sort of falls into this topic...When someone asks "How are you feeling?" He almost always answers "With my fingers."

Pottery Outing...

If you want to see pictures of our outing go to the link above...
or paste this in our browser. http://im-sarah.blogspot.com/

1st day of Kindergarten...

Well it is official...I have a son old enough to go to school. He took off this morning on the bus with not even a goodbye. He didn't even seemed the least bit fazed by the new situation and a bit annoyed with all of the pictures. He was pretty mad that he had to wait to get on the bus...the time they said to be ready was from 8:05 till 9:00. Needless to say he was one of the last to be picked up. The picture in the middle is Samuel standing at the door counting to 60 ten times because I told him he couldn't go outside for 10 minutes. The bus trip was uneventful as well...he got tired of waiting, can you tell.

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On another note...yesterday I went with the some friends from church to the Bare Bowl, a pottery painting store. It was so much fun. I also brought along my mom so she could have a little stress reliever. I painted a large mug and several ladies painted plates and bowls. My mom painted a snowman with all the details...I did a super simple design of stripes but freehanded so they are a little crooked. AFTER I painted it the lady that works there told me I could have used masking tape so the lines would have been straight. Maybe next time. I think we all liked it so much that we are planning our next trip. We may do it while the men of the house take the youngsters to a fire museum...at least that is my plan, sound good to the rest of you? Maybe SOMEONE (Sarah) can post pictures on her blog of the trip and you can get a better idea of what I am talking about. It was definitely a time to find out who is creative and who isn't. I fall into the less creative.

So...I think I will go play with Josh and wait patiently to use my camera again as Samuel gets off the bus.

Pay Attention

My friend recently gave me this really neat book called "Furry Logic" and it has some really cool sayings it. I was trying to think of a post for tonight since I said I would try to do better at posting more frequently. I ran across this.."The quickest way for a parent to get their child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable." It is SO true.
I never understood why my mom would sit in the bath tub for hours with the door closed and locked, it was to keep us out and give her a minute or two to herself. Or how annoying it is to try to talk to someone on the phone and have your kids think of everything that they have been waiting to tell you. Samuel will spend two hours watching cartoons in the playroom and Josh is busy playing in the playroom and then I think...I will call Sarah...AND BOOM, they are in the living room with me or running up and down the hallways screaming or jumping on the couch. I think as soon as they hear me talking they assume I am talking to them...of course if I say their name they don't hear that!

Moving on...Kindergarten starts in 2 days. Technically about 35 hours but who is counting. I am getting more anxious everyday and I don't really know why. He seemed completely comfortable at his kindergarten orientation. I stood there watching him as he sat quietly and as he listened to the teacher and did as she said. I hope he keeps up this trend when school actually starts. He seemed to be about the only kid actually listening but maybe that is because I watching him more than the other kids. I didn't realize how expensive this kindergarten stuff can be...not only did we have to provide 2 bottles of glue, a pair of scissors, new gym shoes but they had on there 2 boxes of Kleenex. Now I was thinking 2 small boxes of Kleenex...but NO every kid brought those big boxes of Kleenex. So now the classroom has enough Kleenex to coat the whole ceiling in the cafeteria with spit balls. Then they asked each kid to bring a package of napkins, which I am assuming is for snack time...which is something else we have to bring...a snack once or twice a month. Here is one that I really think should be the responsibility of the school...headphones for each child. Don't they have an expense account for that. Sorry to all of you in the school system but this is getting ridiculous. I have heard that next year's list includes chalk and dry erase markers (nothing like stocking the teachers supply cabinet). By junior high he might have to bring his own desk and laptop and the teacher will be on CD-rom.

So that is it for tonight...tomorrow I am church hopping. Getting drunk on Jesus juice at not only my church but I am taking off after SS to go watch grandma sing at her church. Then tomorrow afternoon I am going with some girls from Sunday school class to a pottery class in Delaware, I can't wait. They decided to throw a birthday party for themselves. I will let you know tomorrow if we had fun...I know we will though.

Ramblings...

I really don't know where to start, it has been a really "long" time since I have blogged, or SO I HAVE BEEN TOLD! It is funny that in a blog world it seems like 2 weeks is a lifetime, in that short amount of time you can lose loyal readers. I may have lost loyal readers with my last post...it seems I stepped on a few toes. I took it from the non-comments that they didn't agree with what the sermon was about and that they went to Applebees for a little after sermon drink. To that I say...have at it...but it is just not for me. I promise not to judge...for those that know me and have known me from a long time ago you know I have issues with control and that alcohol and keeping it at one drink is next to impossible for me. I suppose that if I had some sort of control and restraint in my life I would weigh 140 and I would be paying weight watchers to tell me that I weigh the same as I did 6 months ago. I was thinking the other morning as I was getting dressed and I was using the loops on the sides of my jeans to pull my jeans up over my butt and prayed they didn't break, I have made so many excuses as to why I am this big. I tell myself, it runs in the family. I would like to believe that but if you have seen my grandparents you know I can't blame it on my genes. I would like to say that I am "BIG BONED" but come on how many of us have seen CSI where they uncover a enormous bone and they immediately assume it is a "big boned" person. I have seen my x-rays and nothing looked overly large except the light shadows surrounding the bone, maybe I am just thick skinned. HA...

This weekend has not helped my membership to the "I am Kim and I am Fat" club. I went to not one but two family reunions. Lots and lots of food. On Saturday we went to the "Grate" Reunion...it was a blast. On our invitation thing it said "We will be there at noon and be there until whenever." We decided to get there around 2 (grandpa's decision not mine...I wanted to get there at noon). Well good thing we went with grandpa's time because we were the first to show. That is right...2 hours after all the festivities were supposed to start. We had decided that if no one else showed up we were going to build a fire, cook our hotdogs and eat without them. BUT...then they started coming...slowly but they came. I think we ended up with more than 60 people. But it was well worth the wait. I laughed and laughed...I even laughed at myself when no one else was laughing...I crack me up! I was so glad to be able to share all of my hard work on my genealogy stuff. I was glad that all of my hard work was appreciated.
On Sunday we went to the Hersman reunion. Not nearly as fun but very much on time. In fact it said it was over at 3 and boy it was it...everyone packed up and took off right at 3. This is the first time I have been there in 16 years. I had people wondering who I was. I just acted like I belonged there. Around 2:30 I finally started telling people how I was linked to the family, which is something that people at the "Grate" reunion never did...I still don't know some of the people who came to the Grate reunion...I think they were just at the park for the catfish tournament and they saw we had food so they stopped by. I was thinking that maybe Wayne and I could drive around on Sundays and look at parks for a large number of people who are eating and show up with a bucket of chicken and sit and eat with them. Sounds like fun to me. It is not like anyone is going to ask you who you are.

So that is it for tonight...I promise I will write more later. I do have a little more to share but it is more on the serious side...I PROMISE...I will not be talking about sinful tattooing or the awful playing cards not to mention what dancing can lead to......(Have you met my kids?). Sorry Wesleyan Joke.






Here is a picture of the "Grate" kids...they are the reason that we all get together every year.











Here is the Hersman clan.

Sermon Notes...

Well this Sunday had an interesting sermon but one that was much needed among my particular age group. I feel like my generation is always looking for the easy way out, the shortcut or the loophole in the scriptures. Making the scripture fit in to our mold. I mean if you are like me you have said or have heard this said, "BUT Jesus turned water in to wine..." So it must be OK. Or "a glass of wine is good for your stomach..."
Our Pastor talked directly to us about why our church believes in abstaining from alcohol other than the old timers explanation of "Your body is a temple of GOD and you shouldn't put anything in it to destroy it and that it will kill your brain cells" The pastor made the point that most of the people figured...I already have destroyed brain cells...what are a few more or we think we are smart enough that we can spare a few. He had all the members stand up while he read directly out of the manuel of the Church of the Nazarene that clearly states that as a member you agree that you will abstain from any use of alcohol. He also backed this up with scripture.
The passage in the bible he used was Proverbs 23:29-35 and it says
29 Who has woe? Who has sorrow?
Who has strife? Who has complaints?
Who has needless bruises? Who has bloodshot eyes?

30 Those who linger over wine,
who go to sample bowls of mixed wine.

31 Do not gaze at wine when it is red,
when it sparkles in the cup,
when it goes down smoothly!

32 In the end it bites like a snake
and poisons like a viper.

33 Your eyes will see strange sights
and your mind imagine confusing things.

34 You will be like one sleeping on the high seas,
lying on top of the rigging.

35 "They hit me," you will say, "but I'm not hurt!
They beat me, but I don't feel it!
When will I wake up
so I can find another drink?"

It amazes me that even when the bible was transulated that verses 32-35 describe perfectly what the affects of alcohol can do to a person. The pastor went on to give statistics of what alcohol can do in our every day life... For instance.
Every 22 minutes someone dies from alcohol or alcohol related disease/accident.
50% of all rapes are alcohol related
36% of suicides are alcohol related
50% of child abuse is alcohol related
75% of all child deaths are alcohol related (this one scares me!)

Wine in bible times is not the same wine that we are used to in our time. The wine in that time was used for medicine to settle the stomach because the water was full of bacteria. Example 1Timothy 5:23

23 Stop drinking only water, and use a little wine because of your stomach and your frequent illnesses

It was also mixed in most settings in the bible as in Proverbs 9:2-5

2 She has prepared her meat and mixed her wine;
she has also set her table.

3 She has sent out her maids, and she calls
from the highest point of the city.

4 "Let all who are simple come in here!"
she says to those who lack judgment.

5 "Come, eat my food
and drink the wine I have mixed.

He spoke about our preferences over our convictions and how when we prefer things it is for convience. For example...most parents prefer that their kids don't drink, but it is Ok if they do. Most parents prefer that their kids go to church even if they don't. If we had a conviction about those things and believed strongly in it then we would be making sacrifices. Making sure that our kids can follow our example and teaching them that a drink is not all that important. Making a sacrifice in sleep or time to make the effort to come to church. Conviction is sacrifice. Christians should take a stand to make sure that they are not just blending in with the world. If you are out somewhere and someone sees you with a beer in your hand and another person who is obviously not a christian holding a beer in their hand then how will they know that you are a Christian and that you are making sacrifices to show what you believe to a very critical outside world. Let's face it the world is waiting for us Christians to screw up so they can point fingers at us and call us a hypocrite. We are supposed to be images of Christ and he would have abstained from alcohol in our time so he could be a good example and a good witness to the world. Our pastor ended his sermon with these statistics:

If a child can abstain from using alcohol until the age of 21 then they are more likely to never drink

The average age right now in the US for starting to drink is 11 for boys and 13 for girls. The average age that people begin to drink on a regular basis is 15.9.

He asked which catagory do we fall into...Abstainance, Tolerance, or Acceptance. As members of the Nazarene Church we should be falling under the Abstainance catorgory but it seems that lately we are falling under the tolerance or acceptance. We aren't fazed by the fact that our kids see us drinking and we can't give a good excuse as to why they can't have some. The only thing I could think people could say to their kids would be it tastes awful and it makes you sick...(THEN WHY DRINK IT). Some people can stop at one drink but how do you know that if you are influence that your children use to decide to drink that they will be that person that can stop at just one and that they won't end up on the statistical side of alcohol.

So that is the sermon and what I interpreted him as saying...I would love to hear any comments from those of you that attend our church who might have gotten something different out of it or that agree with what I think.

Romans 12:2
Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

The begging shall cease!

After much begging I am writing a blog. I have been really busy...(OK not really). Actually this has been a pretty slow week so I have tried to be as lazy as possible. I have managed to get together a few times with friends. Some interesting things happen when you have a house full of screaming, running and sometimes laughing kids. For instance...we were all sitting in my friends living room when one of the children was digging for gold...I mean she was scratching her brain if you know what I mean. When my friend Brenda said..."Did you get it?" She said Yes....AND THEN SHE ATE IT! I think Brenda threw up in her mouth. I was laughing so hard that I thought I was going to have to put one of the baby's diapers. Last night was also Samuel's first official sleep over with his friend Riley. I would like to be able to say that he was devastated to see me leave and that first thing this morning he cried and cried for me but no...he loved it, he didn't even know I had left. It is hard to believe that he is getting this old. He was so devastated by not being home last night that he decided to stay the night at his "Mop"'s house tonight.
The second thing I wanted to blog about was how we sometimes get so wrapped up in our own worries and frustrations that we miss the fact that there are people and friends around us that are going though "stuff" too. I was awaken to this the other night as I was sitting "listening" to a friend tell me about some of the stuff that they have been dealing with. I thought...WOW...have I been so blind and completely caught up in myself that I missed what was happening to my friend. I think that sometimes we need to talk less and listen more. I feel like my friends have listened to me alot lately about Josh and about me, me, me...that I forgot to listen to them. I forgot what a real friend is...a great listener. I apologize to my friends if I have been selfish in my stories and in our time together. I will try to do better. Sometimes I wish that I didn't have the past and the life that I have because it has afforded me a lot of stories that seem to always fit right in there with someone elses story. I never want to come across like I am trying to have the "best" story or the "worse" problem or the "YEAH...well my..." kind of story.
Philippians 2:3
Don't be selfish; don't live to make a good impression on others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourself.

One side note...here is a picture of Josh for my brother...I think him and Tyler are starting to look a little alike. I can't wait to see them together in November.

Words have changed over the years.

My friends and I were having this discussion about how words change over time. For instance...my grandmother uses the word "dope" for any topping that we put on ice cream. Now if I said to someone that I am going to put "dope" on my ice cream they think it was some illegal drug I was topping it with. Then the older crowd sometimes call butter, "oleo". No one know why. One other thing I was thinking about is the confusion I feel when I go over to grandma's for lunch and she calls it dinner. Now I think dinner is later but she calls that supper. In my terms...it is breakfast, lunch and dinner. In her eyes it is breakfast, dinner, and then supper. She also refers to things as "tooting" and we call it farting. She calls the toilet, "the cammode" and calls underwear "pants". Over the years I have been able to understand her foreign language and I thought that she might just be the only person on the planet that says stuff like that. BUT NO...I have several friends that have 1 or more people in the family who still use these different words. I would be interested to know if any of you have any more examples of words changing over time.
(Sorry so short)

Friends...

I have been thinking a lot about what makes a really good friend. I wouldn't say I am expert on this topic because it wasn't until recently that I found a friend that I would consider a "best friend". I have learned over the years that you can have a lot of friends and aquaitances but only once, maybe twice if your lucky, a true best friend. When I was younger I longed for the friendship that my cousin Andrea had with Nicole and the friendship that my cousin Kelley had with Kismet, one that survives through all years and seems stronger with every year. What I admired about both of those friendships is that they didn't have to spend every waking moment talking to each other but when they did they were on the same page. They had the same likes and dislikes and any differences they might have had didn't keep them from respecting each other. I have to say that the relationships that I have recently found, came at a time when I have been trying to straighten my life out and started going to church. I think it is possible (mom you might have been right), that I was looking for friends in the wrong places. It is so nice to have christian friends and have christian families to hang out with. I am excited to watch all of our kids go up together in the church. While those relationships are very important to me, my best friend is the one person that I can call when I am feeling low and she makes me laugh or I find something funny in what she is saying even when she is not trying to. What I like most about our friendship is that we don't even have to talk to each other for a week and we can still call each other and talk just where we left off. I have never been more thankful for a friend to lean on than now since I have been going through so much with Joshua and my health. So thank you, Sarah, for being there for me and for making me laugh even when I don't feel like it. I don't always express to you how important you are to me and how much I appreciate our friendship, thanks again. To my other friends...thank you for all of you support and prayers during this time. I am realizing how important friendships are during rough times.

And to let everyone know...I have to go back in another 6 months for another mammogram (4 in less than 2 years). The next time they said they might have to do a biopsy. As far as Joshua goes...I took him today for an EEG. It was so stressful and tiring for both of us. I had to wake him up at 6:00 am (sorry Sarah I told you 5). Anyway...I had to try to keep him awake all the way to Columbus by myself and then during the test I had to hold him down as they attached about 36 electrodes to his head with glue and a mini hair dryer. I won't know the results for about 10 business days. We also have an appointment with the neurologist at the end of August. I suppose if there is something really bad that shows up, they will have us in before then. So this week has been a little busy and if I have not returned calls or called you, I am sure you all understand.

One more thing...Did you know that a fiesta taco salad from Taco Bell is 630 calories and 39 fat grams, it doesn't even measure on the weight watchers scale (sorry I had to throw that in there). So much for a salad being good for you!!!

5th Birthday a Success!

The birthday party was absolutely wonderful. We had a awesome turn out. I think we had a total of 35 people. Our theme was Superman but I was calling Samuel "Pooperman". He is like any other 5 year old boy, he thinks any word related to bodily functions is funny (poop, fart, burp, butt, you get the idea). I wanted to have a water balloon toss "Kryptonite Toss" but the big kids (Wayne, Mike, Anthony and Steve) decided to start throwing balloons and it wasn't long until the little ones joined in and all of the balloons were gone. They had a blast and the pool was a big hit considering it was mid 90's on Sunday. Here are a few picture of that day.


Samuel getting ready to get me with a water balloon..."STOP I HAVE THE CAMERA!"








Aaron Lovell









Tyler and Riley Brown

Taylor Jones and Brandon Wolbert

Abby and Elizabeth Boyd.

We had a wonderful time. The kids enjoyed the pool and the trampoline and the adults enjoyed the adult company and some opted for the air conditioned house (mom).



Thanks to all that came, it made the day special for Samuel.

Awkward

Ever wonder when you child is going to say that one thing that makes you angered and embarrassed all at the same time? Well...I have a friend who experienced this with me this weekend. We were all going to Buffalo Wild Wings and I was teasing her son as we were getting out of the car and boom...out of retaliation he says "You are Fat!" I said I know...He said "No, You are really fat!" This is the point that the mother realized what he had said. She was instantly mad and embarrassed all at the same time. I wanted to quickly say...Well...he is very observant. I mean it is like calling the kettle black as my mom would say. I found it funny but was trying to let the mother handle it the way that she wanted. I must admit it did corss my mind to say something childish like "I may be fat but..."
I was actually not offended by the honesty but wondered to myself...I wonder how long it will be before Samuel or Josh say something to someone that I will want to hide away somewhere. For story purposes, I will edit the actual word used, but I was told by a someone that they were with their child in a store somewhere where the guy in front of them was being less than polite and her daughter noticed him and her mom's expressions and loudly blurted "Mommy, Is this guy being a jerk?"
What was funny about my friends situation with me was that after the scolding by his mom, he told her "I am going to runaway!" She calmly said "It is raining" He responded..."I guess I will runaway tomorrow!" When she told him that he would miss Samuel's birthday party, he said "I will be back for that". KIDS SAY THE DARNEST THINGS!

So...in other news. I am hosting a huge 5th birthday party tomorrow for "Superman" Samuel. I think the number of kids is up to 12 but I may have forgotten to count a few. I forgot how hard this planning thing is. I think I get more excited about it than he does. I bought a pinata tonight (a pull string, VERY SAFE), I always wanted one as a kid. So wish me luck and as always lots of prayers as our house will be filled with a LOT of people. Here are the pictures that I put in his invitation.

Another Family update

So after taking Joshua to the ER on Friday for the seizures, I took him to the doctor this week who called and made an appointment with a neurologist. We go on August 29th. The doctor thought that maybe the medicine that they had been giving him for his appetite was causing it so he took him completely off of it. We hadn't given it to him since Friday and the doctor said if the seizures occur again then it is not the medicine. So...yesterday we found out it is not the medicine because he had a little seizure in the car on the ride home from my grandparents. I can't wait until August. I looked back up Cerebral Palsy (which is the first thing they thought he might have) and it was like reading a novel about Josh. Everything on the mild side of CP is what we have dealt with. So I hope that they re-examine this as a possibility. If you have any questions go to this http://www.webmd.com/hw/raising_a_family/aa56612.asp
Also in the midst of all of this with Joshua, I had to have my 3rd mammogram of the year. In October of last year they found something and I have had to go back every 4 months. Today I went a whole month early because I found something else and now I am a bit paranoid. Today they not only did a mammogram but they did an ultrasound. I have a doctors appointment scheduled for Tuesday to get the results. The wait is the worse! Sorry that all of my posts lately have not had the usual dose of humor but I have a lot on my mind and my sense of humor is the first thing to get pushed to the side. So as before, please pray for me and my family. Somedays I feel like this: (I still have a little bit of a sense of humor...hopefully my best friend still has hers.)















I love those girls!

What chair are you in?

So today we went to church and man was I glad I did. Our pastor struck a nerve with me and I felt moved to take action. Here are the highlights...He was asking what chair in life are we in...Chair number 1 consists of committment, love and priorities. Chair 2 is compromise, lukewarm, and pleasures, and finally chair number 3 was conflict, lostness, and perplexed. He was describing how each of fit into one of those. He related it to the church and how the church as a whole used to be In Love with Christ, that He was the first priority and that people were committed to the church and God. Now it seems as though most churches are sliding from chair one to chair 2 from being in love with Christ to talking about how the church of the past was on fire and how the church of the past were really committed and how the church of the past was the priority of people. The churches in chair 2 are more likely to talk about the history of the church and be lukewarm rather than being the chair #1 like we are supposed to be. Chair # 3 was not forgotten in all of this. This is the church that falls apart from conflict, lostness and are perplexed. He also talked to the parents and asked where do you think you sit? And where do you think your children sit? And where do your children think you sit? Most children are one chair below their parents so if you are sitting in chair number 2 then most likely your child is sitting in chair # 3. If we compromise our beliefs and are caught up in the pleasures of this world (that fine line), and are just lukewarm in our beliefs then our chidren are most likely going to be in conflict, lost and perplexed. If your children see you living your life from chair # 1 they are more likely to strive to be there with you. Wayne and I both took what he said very seriously and made a committment to make it a priority for our children and show them that we love our church and we love our God. "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord!" Joshua 24:15. Please pray for us that we can be strong examples to our children and that we can raise them up in the way that they shall go. I don't want to be responsible for letting my kids down and making it easy for them to sit in chair number 3.

Can't Win

Do you ever feel like you can't win for trying? That is exactly how I feel about Joshua and his health. We have had him to specialist after specialist, done more tests than any kid should have to go through, currently giving him medicine for indigestion, a medicine to increase his appetite and a liquid vitamin that makes your tongue feel like you have been sucking on a fork all day, we have been told by numerous people and friends that there is nothing wrong with him yet something is not quite right. Today while we were eating he bent over in the highchair and started making this weird face and his right arm started jerking. It only lasted about a minute and then he went right back to his rotten self. So Wayne and I decided that maybe he was just being goofy but I continued to watch him. Tonight I was sharing this experience with my grandma and my mom and grandma said that yesterday at her house he did the same thing that I was describing and she wondered what it was too. Well tonight as I was eating at Bob Evans with my mom and grandma he bent over and started jerking and when I reached over and grabbed his arm, he quit. He looked blankly at me for a second and then made a funny face and laughed. After we got home he seemed to have a hard time walking, he kept tripping. So tomorrow morning I begin the task of calling the doctors and specialists to see if I can get new answers which I am sure will be followed with more tests. I get so frustrated and angry that I have a hard time not crying. I think I have spent most of tonight trying to fight back the tears. This sucks! I told my mom that I feel like people think that I am just trying to find something wrong with him but I am not. I just want to have an answer, whatever it is! Please pray for me as I start this new road to answers.

As Promised....TOM

That is right...I do have another brother other than the almost funny and sometimes famous, John. (I think I said that backwards...almost famous and sometimes funny). Anyway...I have proof that he exists...see the picture. Now don't be alarmed it really is my brother and not my sister, I promise, at least that is what my mom told me as a child. The hair is to keep people guessing. He is actually the smartest of all of us and since he says he never reads this, then I feel safe that it wouldn't go to his head. I think the growing of the hair has to do with the fact that my mom is constantly "suggesting" (nagging) him to cut it and he is not going to just to spite her. Tom is what we call in our family "the creative one". I think it is the same in every family, there is always that one that does everything different than their siblings. Tom is that person. The strange thing is...the kids all think he is cool. (WHATEVER!). Samuel thought Uncle Tom was cool when he taught him that the color brown was called "poop" and that he should refer to my half brother, Justin, as "punk". Tom likes to buy the toys that make the most noise or the one's that don't have an off button. He gets great pleasure in torturing me though my kids...he says it is payback. But for what I can't figure. I mean I was a perfect sister and very loving towards him going up and we used to hug and laugh and play games....OH WAIT....That wasn't me and Tom. We used to fight constantly and I thought a few times that I may be sent to an early grave. But we have both matured...(Well I have at least...just kidding). Now Tom is the person that I could call if I ever needed anything. This includes helping me fix things and helping my husband fix things and burning CD/DVD movies for my kids, even if some of them have subtitles from China or Africa or somewhere (I don't ask...he don't tell). He also has built the neatest things...wooden wagons, corner cabinets, cradles, and high chairs. They are not just neat they are really good and most of them he made without any plan. I still think Sam's wagon is heavier than Tyler's. Anyway....I think I have said enough, I will let my mom and John fill in anything that I left out.

This is Tom in front of a desk that he built for grandpa.