New Blog...Aren't you excited?!?!

So this is going to be my weekly sermon summary...
This week's sermon was from Joshua 24:15
"As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord"

He spoke mostly to the parents in the audience who are trying to raise their children in the church. He talked on how we need to be responsible to God in order to produce Godly children. What our children are being taught in all other aspects of their daily life is that there is no absolutes...that God's "law" has been replaced by God's "Love". He said we have replaced being respected by our children for be liked by them. We are not friends we are parents. With being a parent comes friendship. Not the other way around

Ephesians 6:1 says:
1Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2"Honor your father and mother"—which is the first commandment with a promise— 3"that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth."[a] 4Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
Don't give up on your children just because they reach that magical age of 18. We need to continue to teach for as long as we are living.

He said that even the Old Testament laws were upheld even in the New Testament in the book of Matthew 5.

The Fulfillment of the Law
17 "Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. 18 I tell you the truth, until heaven and earth disappear, not the smallest letter, not the least stroke of a pen, will by any means disappear from the Law until everything is accomplished. 19 Anyone who breaks one of the least of these commandments and teaches others to do the same will be called least in the kingdom of heaven, but whoever practices and teaches these commands will be called great in the kingdom of heaven. 20 For I tell you that unless your righteousness surpasses that of the Pharisees and the teachers of the law, you will certainly not enter the kingdom of heaven."

Teaching like these nullify God's expectations of what we are to be like as Christians. TEACH your children as it is said,

Deuteronomy 4:9-10

9 Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them. 10 Remember the day you stood before the LORD your God at Horeb, when he said to me, "Assemble the people before me to hear my words so that they may learn to revere me as long as they live in the land and may teach them to their children."

Deuteronomy 6:6-7
6 These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

If we fail to teach our children the word of God the following will result

1. Darkness in their soul
2. Lessened understanding of God's perspective
3. Human standards replace divine standards
4. The will spend their life in a frantic and frustrated search for happiness
5. They will devise their own system for pleasing God, more alienated from the Bible

So that is the summary...or what I gathered from it. I really enjoy the way he puts things and backs everything with scripture. It is like these last few years for me have been "light bulb" moments when it comes to church, I am finally getting it. So I guess what I was thinking after this sermon was, if we question the right or wrong in something that we are teaching them, first we need to search out the answer in the bible, pray about it and if still unsure of the answer...stick with the side of caution. I don't want to be a stumbling block for my children or their children. I want to be able to show them what is right and wrong and not teach them what is the just OK stuff because that can be where they will stray. The gray area is what makes so many of us stray and wonder...if it is OK for some and not OK for all, so who is right? Teach them to have an open mind to the things that others believe but to KNOW what they believe so that they can be an example to those who are not sure on their beliefs. (Does that make sense?)
I guess I better stop because I am afraid that I am not getting my point across and the more I talk sometimes the more confused people seem to get. Shhh....I tell myself.

One more thing...The song "Your grace still amazes me" has been added back for you Angie.

Memories

Hi...the pictures I had up here was messing up my page so I have taken them down...I will post them on an older blog later...Check back for location.

Bad week...

So my week or weekend was the pits to say the least. I have cried so much that the tears won't even fall anymore. I don't know what I thought it would be like to lose a parent but I didn't expect it to be this hard. I feel nothing right now...numb most people would say. I am not sure how long it will last. This whole thing has opened my eyes to what death can do to a family. I would like to say it brings everyone closer but I am beginning to wonder if the different greiving processes didn't almost destroy us. It is hard to figure out what to do right after someone passes away. I wanted to pick the things out that I thought my dad would have wanted but I didn't know what he wanted and is it really worth fighting when we all needed to pull together to help each other. I wanted to focus on the here and now and others wanted to look into the future. I don't know how to compromise my process with someone else's. For me it was too hard to sit in his house and see all of his stuff just sitting as if he had just been plucked from the room. I wanted to spend all the time I could with my kids so their life wouldn't be disrupted and they wouldn't feel as if I wasn't absent from their lives. I just wanted to do my greiving my way...no one telling me how. I spent my Sunday morning at church as always because it brought me peace and I sang in the choir so that I could "thank" God for his mercy and grace. For me that was important. I sat through a sermon that I would have been upset to have known I missed. It was a good release for me. And so here is my sermon summary...

PRAY BIG...Pray for something this year and from now on that ONLY God could give you.
Pray big so that God knows that you understand how mighty he is. Don't give up. Don't expect the answer tomorrow or a week from now. Be presistant. Don't let the "wrong" answer to your prayer make you stop praying for the "right" answer. (wrong for you, right for you). If someone had stopped praying for me, I would not be in church but they never gave up. It was in God's time, not theirs. It is Ok to pray for your dinner and to say your nightly thank you prayer to God but don't let those be what you consider your prayer life. Pick something that you are passionate about and pray until you get the answer...

So that is a quick summary... I would type more but I can't get all of my words to filter out of my brain right now.

One more thing...I want to personally thank Mark for all of his visits to see my dad and for doing an awesome job at the graveside service. I don't think any of us will know the impact that you had on him. Thanks again.

It is finished...

The battle is over...January 11, 2007 at 9:20 am, my father passed away. He went very peacefully, thank God. I want to thank everyone for all of their thoughts and prayers. He leaves behind his wife Loretta, his sons, John, Tom and Justin and me, his daughter. He will be missed for years to come by his grandchildren, Kaitlyn, Samuel, Joshua, Tyler and Lauren (his unborn grandchild). This has been a very rough day for all of us. Please continue to pray for all of us during this time.



God saw you getting tired
and a cure was not to be,
so he put his arms around you,
and whispered "Come to me".
With tearful eyes we watched you,
and saw you pass away.
Although we loved you dearly,
we could not make you stay.
A golden heart stopped beating,
hard working hands at rest,
God broke our hearts to prove to us
He only takes the best.

Sermon Notes...

So I haven't written about the sermon lately...mostly because we haven't been to church. Since we have been back from vacation at Thanksgiving we have been to church, I think twice because of sickness and holiday celebrations. So this Sunday I was ready for a good sermon and I was not let down. The pastor spoke on making vows/resolutions and keeping them. He shared his vows for the new year...

1. Pay his Tithe
2. Go to Church
3. Be a holiness pastor
4. Keep all his committments
5. Stand "with" God

First he said we should all be tithing but he makes a vow to continue to tithe as he has for years. No surpise I am sure for all of you out there but he explains it better than anyone. It is not about giving what you have to the church but to God, who has given you so much.

Malachi 3:10
Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this," says the LORD Almighty, "and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it.

His second vow was to come to church no matter where he was at. Whether on vacation, whether it was really nice out and he could be golfing, whether he had the sniffles or was tired. He said that unless he was traveling on Sunday, he would be there and if he couldn't be there he would take time to worship that day. He encouraged all of us to be there no matter what so that we can let God know how much we love and respect him. This was one for me since I was tempted to skip because I was so tired. Glad I made myself go...

Psalm 95:1-7a

1 Come, let us sing for joy to the LORD;
let us shout aloud to the Rock of our salvation.

2 Let us come before him with thanksgiving
and extol him with music and song.

3 For the LORD is the great God,
the great King above all gods.

4 In his hand are the depths of the earth,
and the mountain peaks belong to him.

5 The sea is his, for he made it,
and his hands formed the dry land.

6 Come, let us bow down in worship,
let us kneel before the LORD our Maker;

7 for he is our God
and we are the people of his pasture,
the flock under his care.

The third vow...to preach holiness. Holiness because we are a holiness church. No apologizing for preaching what the bible clearly states us all to be...Holy. Living as if we are the body of Christ. Living on the edge of holiness is not going to get you there.

Leviticus 19:2

"Speak to the entire assembly of Israel and say to them: 'Be holy because I, the LORD your God, am holy.'

His fourth vow...to keep committments. He talked to anyone who has volunteered for things in the church such as becoming a member of the choir or helping with the children downstairs, if you say you will help then help. No backing out or not showing up...I will raise my hand to not fullfilling all of my committments, but I am right there with him on making sure I am following through.

His fifth vow and the one vow that he is the most passionate about is standing with God. He spoke of how this generation is not committed to their marriages. He also spoke about how the churches are not mourning over those divorces as they used to. He said that the vow before God is so sacred. And that he is going to stand by what God says about marriage...(this one is a bit longer).

1 Corinthians 7

Marriage

1Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry.^[a] 2But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. 3The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. 5Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6I say this as a concession, not as a command. 7I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that. 8Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. 9But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. 10To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. 11But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife. 12To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. 15But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. 16How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife? 17Nevertheless, each one should retain the place in life that the Lord assigned to him and to which God has called him. This is the rule I lay down in all the churches.

I know that was a bit long but it was so worth sharing. We all need to make new committments and vows to ourselves...
Here is some of mine for this year and years to come...

1. Spend more time laughing with the kids and less time yelling at them for "spilled milk"
2. Spend more time with my extended family...schedule game night (thanks Jones' for the idea)
3. Spend time appreciating the wonderful husband I have and less time worrying about what is not getting done.
4. Work on being patient (Please...I don't need any prayers on my behalf for this, if you know what I mean)
5. Most importantly...work on my relationship with God and scheduling time with him so I don't lose my way again.

This year's resolution...

I want this year to be a year of kept promises and living for today and not tomorrow. If you have been reading my blogs over this last year you know that my tomorrows are becoming less important than what is happening "today". The pastor this past week talked about making more time for the things that are important to us. If we try to cram in everything that the doctor's say we need, sleep, exercise, meditation, eating right, plus working and doing all of the thing that an average person needs to get done...we would need 36 hours a day to get it all done. What the experts leave out is our time with God. What we all sometimes leave out is our time with God. I know that this year I have been leaning on God more than ever but not giving him my time like I should. Letting him have complete control...boy is that a hard one. As I reflect on my year...it has been my most insightful year spiritually but one of my toughest physically and emotionally. What is amazing is I feel good about my year. I feel calm and happier than I ever have been. While I still have a tough road ahead with my dad and worrying about Joshua and Samuel...I really don't feel the stress that I would have felt had I not had this wonderful year with Christ. I am looking forward to spending the "time" with God this year. I am sure he has some wonderful things to show me.
I am going to post a few pictures of the kids at Christmas...and the beautiful tree is my mom's. She did such a wonderful job and we all had a great time at her house on Christmas Eve...even with the little fire we had. (Don't Ask).

Christmas....

So it is almost here and maybe, just maybe, Santa got a little carried away this year. I told myself a dozen times that Santa doesn't make what grandpa Santa makes but I didn't let that stop me. I blame it all on Amazon. I am addicted. There are probably support groups for people like me who find Amazon...start shopping....and can't stop. And the worst part or the best part (depending on who you are) they gave me this FREE credit card. It is so easy to spend on a credit card the first time...before you get the bill. Did I mention that Wayne is working 30 hours of overtime this week and almost 40 next. He hasn't said it is to bail me out of this debt hole that I created but I know that is what he is thinking. All of that to say...it is going to be a great Christmas in every sense of the worldly view of Christmas. Lots and Lots of presents. I did figure out why parents tell their children about Santa not being real. The other day I spent a good hour convincing Sam that he would get more from Santa than the 2 things that he put on his list. He was sure that Santa wouldn't know what he liked and because his list was so short, he would only get those ideas and he was devestated. It was at this point that I felt like yelling...I AM SANTA...I KNOW WHAT YOU LIKE....YOU WILL GET MORE THAN 2 THINGS...AND YOU WILL HAVE A MERRY CHRISTMAS!...but I didn't. So as this wonderful season comes and soon passes...I have nothing to reflect on except the future of bills and disconnected utilities....hopefully SANTA bought him a flashlight. We are going to be starting a new tradition this year...Christmas at Mom's. Well...maybe I shouldn't set it in stone as a tradition until we see how this year goes. I know we are all excited. I am more so this year because Samuel seems to be really excited. In order to keep this short, I will say...Merry Christmas and will post next week some pictures.

Running behind...

I seem to be running behind on the whole Christmas season. I haven't sent out cards with our nice picture on it nor have I decorated one thing in my entire house. Don't think that our house has not been decorated, it has, by my husband. He hung Christmas lights around the house, put up the Christmas tree and decorated it better than I have (don't tell him that), and he put out christmas"y" stuff on shelves and anywhere he can find to put things. It is beginning to look like Christmas around here. I have a good excuse this time for not helping, I have been sick. Sure he has been sick too but not AS sick as me. I have managed to do all of our Christmas shopping. I was a bit lazy about it too...I bought everything online. How did I ever shop before?!?! They make it so easy now..."Free shipping", door to door service and I get the satisfaction of getting to open each box like it is Christmas for me. The UPS guy makes a stop at our house about twice a day because Amazon ships almost everything in it's own box because each thing comes from different manufacturers. I get excited to see what we are going to get each day. I want everyone to know that I have enjoyed reading each of your blogs and watching every get excited about Christmas that I decided to join in on the fun of letting you pick what could have been a really great Christmas card. The idea of letting you all decide came to me one night as I was sleeping and thought...I know I will let you all pick between a couple of pictures. I noticed that on a few other blogs that they had the same dream as me so if they say I stole the idea well...it's true. I tried to find photos that showed how our family is on a daily basis and not for a simple photo shoot.

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2 Weeks and no post...

Well it has been awhile since my last post and it seems that a lot has happened. I would like to say that I was so busy that I didn't have time to blog, but not true. I have been putting it off for fear no one would read. My life at this particular time is not one full of a lot of jokes and I don't want people to feel sorry for me. But today I decided...too bad. This is what is going on, read if you want.
I have been thinking a lot lately about tomorrows. I say this because my dad is a person who lives for tomorrow. Tomorrow he will get out of the one bedroom apartment that he has been living in for over 18 years and buy a house, Tomorrow he will spend more time with his family, Tomorrow he will spend his money on more than just himself, Tomorrow he will make his life right with God, Tomorrow he will live like it is his last. Well...as his tomorrows quickly fade I wonder what he is thinking. Is he thinking...if only I had a little more time, more tomorrows. Would it change anything? Would he change? Everytime I talk to him he gets teary eyed and sometimes cries, not something he ever did until he realized his tomorrows were limited. I wonder is he regretting things or is he just sad for himself. So I ponder over and over in my mind...am I living for today or am I looking at tomorrow to fix the problems in my life. Just something to think about.

In the midst of all that is going on with my dad, Wayne and I and the kids made our annual trip to Florida. We went on the coldest week of the year. It was so windy and cold that we spent most of the time inside. We did get to see the grandparents and enjoy watching them interact with our kids. With my above topic about tomorrows it makes all the times that they get to spend with my grandparents even more special for me. I loved watching as Josh and Grandma took off on her scooter when we first got there and Grandpa and Sam (best boys) taking off on grandpa's scooter. We didn't even get hugs...they just were in heaven getting to spend time with their grandkids. After that we spent ninety percent of our time with grandparents and really had a good time. We were planning our next trip before we left. We also got to visit with my brother and his family. The kids played with each other like they see each other every day. No fighting. It was amazing. I also was introduced to the stockpile (or inhouse grocery store) that my brother's wife has from all of her couponing. It is very impressive and inspiring. It made me want to come home and start shopping for freebies.

After a very long trip (don't stay at Days Inn EVER), and hours and hours of driving. We made it home and quickly fell back into our lives. This first week back has been a bit of a blur. I did make it out one day shopping with Sarah and spent a few dollars on myself (which always makes me feel better), and I shopped and shopped online for Christmas. I think I am completely done with buying for the kids. I just have a few more people on my list to buy for.

Yesterday, I got up and didn't feel like going to church so Wayne got the kids ready and was getting ready to fix breakfast when I decided...I wasn't THAT sick. I am always afraid I am going to miss something if I don't go, so I got ready and went. I am so glad that I did. This is the start of our revival at church with Evangelist Bond. He is so good. I like any pastor who can back up everything they say with scripture. Not just reading it but showing where to find it. He spoke about holiness and sanctification, things that are not talked about too much and more in holiness churches. I had the opportunity to explain what I thought santification meant while I was at the ladies retreat last month and hearing him explain it again yesterday made me feel better that the explanation that I gave was accurate. Backing up my belief that God will change you as you grow in your faith. You won't always be wanting to do the things that may not be pleasing to God if you have made the commitment. That we become children of God so we will start to model what our Father does. I know that almost every boy or girl has wanted at sometime to make their daddy proud. If we viewed our relationship with God in that same light we would go out of our way to show God that we are his children and that he has a lot to be proud of. He spoke about the guilt of your past will not haunt you because God is not a God of guilt. If you give into guilty thoughts it is Satan working on you and tempting you and harassing you not God. It was a powerful and insightful thought that I had not really heard before. I love learning new things. So my weeks have ended on a good note. I feel more at peace about what I need to do in my life today...not tomorrow.

OH...one more thing... I got the family pictures taken yesterday... here is my favorite.

And life goes on...

It is weird to me how everyone else's life seems to be moving along when mine seems to have slowed way down and everything takes on a whole new meaning. As mentioned in many of my other blog entries, my dad has terminal cancer. We were told on September 1st that the cancer from 2 years ago that he had in his lung (which they said they got it all) had re-occured in his brain and liver. At the time the doctors told him he would have a good 2 years to enjoy his family and even though that didn't seem like long, it was a lifetime when you consider the type of cancer. Well...the 2 years has turned into 2-6 months because the radiation that they did on his brain cancer didn't really shrink the tumors that much and his brain can not handle anymore radiation unless it was very direct doses on the tumors. This was the option that was offered to him this past weekend as he lay in Riverside but with the warning that EVEN IF they did the radiation it might not help and if it did help, it would not increase his life span significantly. The only help that he could get from this type of radiation would be that the seizures that he had for over 2 days could subside, but no guarantee. And the chemo that he was having for his liver was not going to increase his life span either...so the decision was made. No more treatments. Not a decision by us his family but by him. Not an easy decision to make or one that anyone would want to make. Is it really considered giving up? I personally didn't want to him to have any more treatments because they wore him out and knocked his white blood cells so low that he could die from a common cold. So I can hope and pray that the little bit of time he has he can build back up his energy and with the right cocktail of drugs he can be as comfortable he can be and maybe he can enjoy the little amount of time he has left with his grandkids and family. Someone asked me if he was a Christian tonight. Our pastor came down to the hospital and prayed with my dad and asked him if he was right with God and my dad said that he was ready and at peace. So if you ask me today I have to say "yes". I told that person that maybe God has a bigger book than me. By my standards he isn't ready but who am I to step in between a relationship between God and my dad. Maybe God has a smaller book...one with less rules and more grace than any of us can wrap our minds around. MAYBE...just MAYBE. I want to thank everyone for their prayers during this time and for times to come. It is a rough road and seemingly narrow road that we must walk sometimes but with our eyes on the cross we will never get lost. Thank you Jesus for opening my eyes and letting me see you even in the darkest times and giving me the strengh I have needed to be there for my dad.

"How Long?"

"How Long?" seems like a fitting title for this blog. It has been the theme of the weekend. Starting on Thursday we have been asking "How Long?" How Long will my dad be having a seizure? How long will it take for them to get it to stop? How long will it take for us to get him to Riverside? How long will it take for the doctors to tell us what is going on? How long will be he be in the hospital? How long will he need to continue with chemo and radiation if the cancer is uncureable? and today...How long will he live?
That one is the toughest for the doctors to tell us. It seems they have this well oiled way of skirting around that question. Is it a couple of months, a month, a week, or a day. So we wait. Tomorrow I have decided will only bring more questions...if he has surgery, will it help, will it kill him or will he become a vegatable? If he opts to have radiation instead of surgery, will it be worth it and is it safe with everything else going on to operate on a man who has diabetes and liver cancer. And there is NO guarantee....that is the only guarantee from the doctors. So what to do. Accept it...OF course and PRAY. Pray that he has peace about what is happening to him and Pray that his family has the strength to face this and be there for him any way we can.

BRAVO AGAIN!

My report...I am cancer free. I still have to do a followup mammogram in 6 months so don't quit praying.
Side note: I finally got my favorite song to uploaded on here....I hope you enjoy it.

BRAVO GOD!!!

I can't even begin to explain the weekend that I just had. This is going to be a long entry.

It was probably the most amazing thing spiritually that has happened to me since I was in jr. high church camp. I went on the Ladies' retreat for our church over in Sugarcreek Ohio this weekend and it was such wonderful experience. I have to admit that for me personally I was thinking...how fun can amish country be? When I signed up I worried that I had made a mistake and I was constantly telling people that I was going to get away from the kids for a weekend...not spiritual growth. While I did get a weekend away and I missed my kids, I found something so much more. Knowledge. Friendships. More Compassion. More of God and mostly and more importantly...I found more of me. We had an absolutely wonderful speaker, Kelli Reisen that had a contagious love for God that you saw and wanted to have, she had a contagious understanding and she stood in total amazement at the love and grace of God that made you want to search and learn more and want what she had. She discussed knowing what you believe so that you can pass it on to your kids. How appropriate considering my recent conversation with Sam, see last entry on blog. She said it is like running in a relay race not a marathon....passing on the baton from generation to generation. She used 1 Peter 3:15-16 to start out the weekend.
15 But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, 16 keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander.

She continued that in order to know him you need understand His characteristics:

1. God is Love (John 3:16)
2. God is slow to anger, he is patient, forgiving and just (Exodus 34:5-7)
3. God is without sin and is faithful to fulfill what He has promised (Numbers 23:19)
4. God is compassionate and merciful (James 5:11)
5. God is powerful (Exodus 15:3-8 and Revelations 19:11-15)
6. God is our creator (Genesis 2:7)
7. God is Jealous (Exodus 20:4-5)
8. God is Sovereign (Isaiah 25:8)
9. God is Rightous (Psalms 11:7)
10. GOD IS HOLY (Leviticus 11:44a I am the Lord, your God; consecrate yourselves and be holy, because I am holy.)

Who are we that he would love just mere people? He created us so that he could be friends with us, worship with us and glory in what he has created for us. What a disappointment we became to him that he felt he needed to give his OWN son to die on the cross for our sins. WOW. That he would stand by while His Son was spit on, beaten and then nailed to a cross while the people that he loved so much looked at him as a fraud. How he must feel to know that we still treat him the same way. How he must feel to know that we have compromised what we have been taught for the things of the world so as to not offend the world. We have blended in so well lately that it seems that you can't tell the Christians from the non-Christians. I am not talking outward appearance but inner convictions. He says you can come to him "just as you are" BUT that doesn't mean he wants you to stay that way...he wants to mold you and make you into a great witness for what He can do. He hasn't ever required you to do anything but to believe in Him and trust in Him, he will clean you up if he wants.
What struck me this weekend was her mentioning following God in the shadow of the cross. It got me thinking about the visual of that...if a cross is in direct sunlight (our struggles) the path becomes even more narrow but if we hold fast on the path it isn't long until the sun starts to set and the path once again becomes clearer. It is at the time where we can't see through the brightest sun that if we keep our eye on the cross it will keep us from losing tract of the path that God has for each of us. AND THINK OF THE REWARD! The reason for the title of this blog is she told us of a story of driving her car with her kids and noticing this beautiful tree and shouting out "BRAVO GOD!" If he can make what we have here on earth...heaven must be as awesome as he described in Revelations 21.

We not only had a great speaker but pure bonding with women...stepping out of our own comfort zone and letting other know us and letting them tell us about them. We stayed up talking and sharing experiences and making friendships and creating a strong group of women with the same purpose...to glorify God and share our beliefs with others about Christ.

On a personal note...I would like to thank each of the 48 women who prayed over me for healing and strength during this time of waiting to find out if my biopsy will show cancer or not. I shared with Sarah and a few of the women that I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes as Kelli spoke of her waiting to find out the same thing. She said that her kids had been riding in the car with her when she received a call from the doctor for an appointment to get the results and her son reached up and touched her hair and said, "Don't do the treatment...you will lose your beautiful hair" I realized for the first time that this could be a possibility for me. So as I sat there crying quietly, one of the ladies who knew what I was going through simply whispered to me..."are you Ok?" I didn't have to speak, my tears did the talking for me. It wasn't long that she asked that they all pray around me for healing and comfort. By this time I was over heating and felt like if all of these women huddle around me, I may pass out. As they began huddling around me and laying their hands on me and the praying began, I had this peace wash over me...and I was not hot anymore...in fact I felt almost instantly cold. It could have only meant one thing to me...God was hearing them as they prayed on my behalf. I have no doubt, that his plan for me will be carried out no matter what the results of the test tomorrow may be. Thank you again ladies for showing compassion and concern and being my prayer warriors when I couldn't say the prayer for myself.
And I didn't get to say it but thank you to the whole committee of women who put this together especially Ann Deckard (ha ha).

I must be doing something right....

So tonight was interesting....
I was driving to Columbus tonight to have dinner with my mom (This experience I will save for another post), Samuel and I had a really good conversation. He was looking up in the sky and saw the moon and said, "That moon reminds me of great-great grammy" Now if you have read my other posts you will know that he has been greiving her death for 3 years TODAY...(yikes I just realized it is the anniversary of her death, which makes his statement even more shocking). I was taken back by his statement...but what he said next..."Mom, how do I know I will get to Heaven to see grammy?" Wow...what a question. I told him that he needed to ask God in his heart and that he needed to live a good life and go to church and I was rambling on and on...I said we need to continue listening and praising God through the songs that we were listening too...for instance I said..Evermore I will trust him...evermore I will love him....(part of the song at the time)...I heard him in the back seat quietly say "Dear God, evermore I will trust you, evermore I will love you" and then he said "Is that it?" I said you have to ask God to take away your sin and to come in your heart. So he added that to the end of his prayer and then said "Amen". WOW this kid amazes me. So then he asked a question that I have asked for 30 years..."How do I REALLY know that I am going to Heaven?" Explaining the other parts of this seemed so simple but when it comes to the faith part...I have a harder time. I think I did my best. So then he said..."You know...tomorrow I have Safety city again at school..." That innocent childhood faith, making it so simple and to the point and then moving on.
I thought that the conversation was over but on the way home he must have been thinking...he said....Mom...has Kaitlyn (his cousin) ever prayed that prayer to Jesus...will she be going to Heaven with me? Then he said "You know...if she does then she will get to Heaven before me because she is older" I had to laugh. The whole ride home was filled with singing...him telling me not to sing certain parts because they were the guys parts and that I was girl and I was to only sing the girls part. He did say that he was going to share his new found faith tomorrow at school with his teacher so I can't wait until parent-teacher conference next week so she can fill me in. Below is my sweet Samuel looking up to his God!

Tip...

So my topic for tonight will not be as controversial or as serious as the past few. But I am wanting to know what you think...
This weekend we went to Red Lobster with my family and as we have said in the past...when you take my mom...expect bad service, cold food or something wrong with your food. So this time we were blessed with somewhat bad food but mostly bad service. It all started early in the service when I said to the waitress when she asked for our drink order... I said..."First...we are going to need more napkins and then I will take a Diet and my kids will take Shirley T's" But before you go thinking I serve my kids some alcoholic beverage you should know that they have this really cool drink (with free refills) that a Shirley T is sprite and cherry syrup. So the drinks came...no napkins. If you have kids you know why I asked for napkins because as soon as you don't one of your "angels" will spill one of the drinks or something will need wiped up. So I asked again. Now in my mind I am thinking she probably just forgot the first time because we had 12 people in our group. So off she went to get our salads or rolls or something...maybe she was on a smoke break...who knows. Anyway when she came back...no napkins. This time...I said..."I REALLY need those napkins". I raise my tone a bit...and off she went. We didn't see her or our food for some time...and when she brought it...NO NAPKINS. This time I said...."I want those napkins that I asked for earlier!" This time she brought them but it was after we had eaten most of our food and we were all waiting on Wayne to finish his 12th order of the all you can eat shrimp scampi. (this eating habit will be discussed in a later post) So the tip I would have given her was more like...find a new job....don't leave home without an umbrella or don't dance naked in glass houses. She did get a tip (5%) but think of the tip she would have gotten had she just brought me my napkins.
Besides this annoying experience at Red Lobster, I really enjoyed having my brother here from Florida. It seems like only a month since I saw him last (actually it was). We spent some time at my dads and a majority of the time at grandpa and grandma's. You can tell that the grandparents had a little bit of an overload because they took off for Florida this morning. I also want to thank my family for showing up to see me sing in the church choir...it meant a lot to me. Also I want to say a special thanks to Kristena for sparking my interest in the world of couponing. I can't wait to get started. You should know though that our family is not very good at finishing things...we have all started diets...but you can't tell.

My Job or someone else's

Where is the line? Where is the line between being critical of someone and pointing out things that everyone has been thinking and not saying so that the person can better themselves? I struggle with this line. For instance, do you tell someone late in the day that they have a pair of underwear sticking out of the bottom of their pant leg when it is obvious that they have had them stuck there all day and it didn't seem to be something that anyone else has decided to share with them or do you let them discover them later. I always tell Wayne that a true friend will tell me if I am doing something wrong or wearing something inappropriate or I have something stuck somewhere it is not supposed to be. A true friend will tell you that you have a pepper grain as big as your front tooth sticking between your teeth or that your zipper has found its way down or that when you bend over everyone can see what kind of underwear you are wearing or they can see the tattoo that you have been hiding from everyone. That is a true friend. I guess the line that I struggle with is the one of more personal issues...like here is a good example. My husband...he stands a bit close to people when he talks...you know the 3 foot rule. Well my dear sweet husband feels the need, along with his whole family, to stand so that you feel like any minute they are going to hug you or kiss you. You try to back away but they inch closer...SO annoying. I have mentioned to him that it is annoying and he gets mad that I am being critical. Another thing....he talks alot... Anyone who has met him knows this...I think he knows it...but when I point it out...I am being mean. Now I know that everyone talks about it to other people but no one tells him...I feel like if I tell him I will save him from being ridiculed by his peers. Now don't feel like you have just stepped into a fight between him and I, we are not fighting about this and I have told him what I am blogging about...I was just wondering what everyone else was thinking about this line. So that is it for now...a little thing I have been questioning as I strive to be a better wife and a better friend...BY the way...if it is the job of a friend to tell you those things then WATCH OUT...I have a few friends that I have been wanting to be critic...I mean help out.

Looking ahead...

Tonight I decided to go watch a band that I used to go every weekend and hear play at the local bars. So as I stepped into the bar tonight I went in with a different purpose than before. This time I wasn't there to party but I was there to get to know them and for them to get to know me. I was in a bible study recently and a gentleman that comes said we need to get to know the non-christians...not just preach to them or hang a door hanger on their door to get them to come. I made the decision to go tonight after the lead singer of the band and I were talking earlier in the week and I was telling her that I had turned my life around and that I was now attending church with my family. She expressed to me that her and her husband (who happens to be the bass player) have been really searching lately for the "more" in life. It was a much different experience tonight then when I used to go. At one point this guy sat down and started cursing and the lady sitting next to me said..."watch your language, this lady goes to church" What a weird feeling. I wanted them to be themselves but I appreciated how quickly he changed what he was saying and how he was saying it. They seemed relaxed and I didn't feel any pressure to join them in drinking and when the drink order came to me and I ordered a Mt. Dew, no one said a word. Maybe this is the way to reach them...I don't know but I felt like I made a good decision in going because now they know that I love them despite their habits and despite their way of life and best of all they know that the change in me is because I go to church now and that I love God. As I drove away I turned on a the CD that I got for our choir from church and skipped ahead to the song "Your Grace Still Amazes Me".

My faithful Father, enduring Friend
Your tender mercy’s like a river with no end
It overwhelms me, covers my sin
Each time I come into Your presence
I stand in wonder once again

CHORUS:
Your grace still amazes me
Your love is still a mystery
Each day I fall on my knees
Your grace still amazes me
‘Cause Your grace still amazes me

Oh, patient Saviour, You make me whole
You are the Author and the Healer of my soul
What can I give You, Lord, what can I say
I know there’s no way to repay You
Only to offer You my praise

It’s deeper, it’s wider
It’s stronger, it’s higher
It’s deeper it’s wider
It’s stronger, it’s higher
than anything my eyes can see

Quick Update...

So...where do I start? My dad is losing his hair. I guess I wasn't prepared for it. It made this whole thing real. I told my mom that when I went to hug him goodbye today I had about 20 or 30 strands of his hair stuck to my face. Joshua went with me and I had to brush him off after we got in the car. I thought that the hair only fell out after chemo but I guess the radiation that they did on his head must have been pretty strong. I was worried about if he was still talking to me after our associate pastor went and visited with him on Sunday but he didn't seem to mind...what a relief. Today I gave him the photo book that I have been making for him. It turned out really nice and he cried a lot while looking at it. I had an awful time looking at him today because he looks so different...with his hair falling out, his face is looking swollen and his eyes have dark circles. He still has a little sense of humor...when I asked when he noticed his hair falling out, he said...One day I got up and my hair didn't and then he laughed. He said that he is taking off one more week without any treatment because he is so weak. He isn't sure he wants to even have anymore treatment because yesterday the doctor said that the treatment isn't going to make him better...just slow down the getting worse part. I think he was still holding out hope that this would all cure itself. On other note...he is married again. This is news that I have known for awhile but we weren't allowed to share until he had told each of us. Now that we all know...I can share with the blog world. He has been with the same woman for 20 years, hard to imagine. I used to refer to her as "the thing" because she wasn't really a girlfriend and there is no common law wife anymore, so I didn't know what to call her. Plus she is only a couple of years older than my brother John so it was always a little weird for all of us. I didn't feel like I could call her the significant other because that would sound like he was living with a man and I didn't want to just refer to her as my half-brother's mom so...
But now that he is sick and she had the opportunity to walk away with no legal reason to stay...she opted to stay. Kudos to her. Now she is my step-mom...That sounds weird but it was a long time coming and I am glad for him and her.
So much for keeping this quick.
On another note...we are having a garage sale this week at my mom's to get rid of all of the things that she has accumlated in the last couple of years and around our family we keep anything that just can't be thrown away...it is too good...or someone will get good use out of this or so and so gave this to me. I personally don't have that problem. I like to give it away so I can see if I get it back and that has happened.
We are also having a family reunion. It all started when my grandma's sister decided to come visit from Michigan (2)...and her brother decided to come and see them, up to 4 now...then his daughter decided to come who invited her other siblings to come (7 or 8 more)...then the sister in Michigan decided to invite her daughter (plus 1), then my cousins who live in town decided to have everyone over to their house (add 4 more) and then you add the mother of the cousin who is also the sister-in-law and her daughters (2 or 3 more)...THEN...the other widowed sister-in-law caught wind of this growing reunion and is bring her daughter, daughter's husband and their son (3)....This is not even including the 2 people that my aunt from Michigan came to visit in the first place...my grandparents. And lets not forget me and my family and my mom. So...I think that is it...29...but it could be more...I am sure it will continue to grow after all it is only Wednesday. Luck for my cousin she has this new dining room that seats 15 so we will only have to double up on the seats.

It has been awhile...

I know...it has been awhile since you have heard from me. I just couldn't think of anything to blog about. I thought about blogging about how blessed I was...but that was taken, I thought about telling you how my blog life and real life have collided, but it was taken. I was going to share how my mom sold her house but I didn't want to steal her moment or her topic for blogging. I was going to tell you how exciting it is to have another girl in the family but my brother already blogged about that...I was going to post picture of how cute my kids are (AND THEY ARE) but my cousin trumped that idea by putting her 5 year old daughter's pictures online and she is way too cute in her ballerina outfit to compete with right now since my kids have nothing to show but their battle scars. I would also blog about how grateful I am again of my friends but I didn't want to start WWII again and plus my friend Sarah did that topic this week. SO now what...ramble on and on and hope that you all are just happy that I blogged in the first place and that you now have something new to read. Pretty much...

But what I really should be blogging about is what a great sermon we had today and how much I am enjoying my new bible study on Thursdays or how much I enjoy listening to other point of view in my Sunday school class. Shouldn't my focus everyday be first on what a great God that we have. That it really doesn't matter what denomination you are or what church you do or you don't attend but that YOU know that you are under the umbrella of grace...that no matter what the storm, we are protected by our God. The pastor was speaking about being so involved in the church that we are producing "fruit" (new followers of Christ). We have so many churches that are growing in numbers but they can't really tell you how many people were saved last year but they know that they had 800 for one service. He said that each church has its core of believers, people who are completely "sold out" to Christ and their "denomination" is not a factor. Then there is a larger circle of workers in the church who believe in the church/denomination and what they are doing and they know the rules and the follow the rules and they believe in the general belief of Christ. Then there is an outer circle of people in a church that simply come to church so that they can say that they go. They are coming but they are not connected, they don't volunteer for anything, they don't get involved...they just come. Christianity is not based on some creed but on Life and Giving Life. Being a servant and witnessing to potential servants of Christ. If they reject us...it is OK...at least we tried. If they accept...great...chalk one up for God. But at least do something. Matthew 13:2-9 gives the parable of the sower and how he planted his seed in many different soils...some in a path, some in the rocks, some in the thorns and some in the good soil...in Matthew 13:18-23 it breaks it down...

18"Listen then to what the parable of the sower means: 19When anyone hears the message about the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what was sown in his heart. This is the seed sown along the path. 20The one who received the seed that fell on rocky places is the man who hears the word and at once receives it with joy. 21But since he has no root, he lasts only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, he quickly falls away. 22The one who received the seed that fell among the thorns is the man who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke it, making it unfruitful. 23But the one who received the seed that fell on good soil is the man who hears the word and understands it. He produces a crop, yielding a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown."

“I am only one, but I am one. I can't do everything, but I can do something. The something I ought to do, I can do. And by the grace of God, I will.”

Edward Everett Hale quotes (American Clergyman and Writer, 1822-1909)

WOW....we look so different...

So I am doing a little album for my dad of memories of his life and our lives. So I was scanning some pictures in and I thought I would share with everyone what we looked like as kids...WE WERE DARN CUTE...













This is John as a baby.


















This is Tom.














And last by certainly not least...me.


















OK ONE MORE....