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I MUST BE CRAZY!!!

That is what I have heard most of this week when I tell everyone what is going on around here. We are taking both kids in on Thursday to have their tonsils removed. To compound the problem, Wayne is most likely working this next weekend and we have almost completely gutted our kitchen for a month long remodel project. I say a month with much optimism. I didn't realize how much I rely on my stove and oven. I forgot that you can boil water in the microwave since we never use the microwave except for hot dogs. I am going to start tiling the floor in the next two days and my dear ole husband thought it a good idea to tile both the dining area and the kitchen. If you have ever been in my house you know that our kitchen is really large...12x24 to be exact. Since I like to tile and I voluteered for that part of the project...he changed his mind about carpeting half thus reducing some of his projects in there. Actually we work really good together in these home improvements. So...IT WILL BE FUN....IT WILL BE FUN...IT WILL BE FFFFFUNNN!

I thought that since I haven't done my weekly sermon update from last week's sermon I thought I would squeeze it in before tomorrow. I would like to say that everyone has been asking about the lack of sermon but I think all of the preaching has left some of my loyal readers with nothing to say...surprising from some...I must say.

This weeks' sermon was titled "What are you going to do with your dash?"
Dash? you might ask. Yes, dash...the one that seperates the year you were born and the year that you die. Like my dad's dash 1945-2007. It is so little but so significant. Are we letting the world pass us by from our "EZ" chair or are we out there doing something with our life? God has given us that dash between birth and death for more than just the "EZ" life. He wants us to be open to his calling to do something big. If we look at the different people from the bible that were called to something big by God then you will see it is neither easy or comfortable. Take Noah for example...God didn't say...I have this boat over there that I have loaded animals and I need you to get on...No he said...I want you to build a boat (ark and you need to collect the animals. He did it in faith of a promise that was unseen. I am sure he was ridiculed by on lookers and mocked about his faith but he stood strong and did what the Lord had asked him. He answered that intial calling. But the calling doesn't just stop there. God gives us reassurance that if we remain faithful that he will reward us for our faithfulness. Becoming a Christian doesn't remove our suffering but many know that if they didn't have the reassurance of God during their suffering their suffering would have been unbearable.
Lately I have been straining to hear the calling for what I am to do with my dash...I want to make an impact, I want to be remembered for more than just someone's daughter, granddaughter, mother or wife. I want my life to impact someone. Wayne and I both have this awesome opportunity to go to Africa to help with the mission work that is going on there. We are excited and a bit fearful. Not afraid but apprehensive of how this will change our lives. Some have asked why Africa...well the truth is...why not Africa. I feel like people in other countries don't have the opportunity and resources that we have here. We have been blessed with so much and we are ready to give back. I don't want this "mission" work to stop in Africa. I want to reach out to those around me. I watched this really neat video a couple of weeks ago in my bible study and it has really been a reassurance for me that what me and Wayne are doing is the right this (There is that reassurance after the call that the pastor was talking about). The video was of Reggie McNeal at the M7 leadership conference for Nazarene leaders. He was talking about how we "the church" have a tendency to yell from our steps "COME TO OUR CHURCH...WE HAVE THE ANSWERS...BE LIKE US AND YOU WILL GET TO HEAVEN" What we need to be doing is getting out in our community and becoming friends with the community and examples of Jesus. He said maybe all of the "churchy" people are already in church. That makes sense to me. Maybe we are going about this all wrong maybe we need show by example and then if they come to our church they are there to further their knowledge of the bible and it's teachings.

Ok...I think I will end there. But let me leave you with a passage that has sustained me a few times in the past. ***It is a bit long but I couldn't share it unless I shared the whole thing.

Psalm 139

1 O Lord, you have examined my heart
and know everything about me.
2 You know when I sit down or stand up.
You know my thoughts even when I’m far away.
3 You see me when I travel
and when I rest at home.
You know everything I do.
4 You know what I am going to say
even before I say it, Lord.
5 You go before me and follow me.
You place your hand of blessing on my head.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too great for me to understand!

7 I can never escape from your Spirit!
I can never get away from your presence!
8 If I go up to heaven, you are there;
if I go down to the grave, you are there.
9 If I ride the wings of the morning,
if I dwell by the farthest oceans,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
and your strength will support me.
11 I could ask the darkness to hide me
and the light around me to become night—
12 but even in darkness I cannot hide from you.
To you the night shines as bright as day.
Darkness and light are the same to you.

13 You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! ****THIS IS MY FAVORITE LINE
Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
15 You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
16 You saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
before a single day had passed.

17 How precious are your thoughts about me, O God.
They cannot be numbered!
18 I can’t even count them;
they outnumber the grains of sand!
And when I wake up,
you are still with me!

19 O God, if only you would destroy the wicked!
Get out of my life, you murderers!
20 They blaspheme you;
your enemies misuse your name.
21 O Lord, shouldn’t I hate those who hate you?
Shouldn’t I despise those who oppose you?
22 Yes, I hate them with total hatred,
for your enemies are my enemies.

23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 Point out anything in me that offends you,
and lead me along the path of everlasting life.

Example of Great couponing...

So tonight I had a great find...I spent a total of 20.27 and I saved 104.81 and this is how. Kroger's this week has their Pillsbury items on sale for 10/$10 and I had a lot of coupons for these plus if you bought 10 you get $5.00 off your next order. So I rang up the first 10 and paid for them, with coupons my total was 5.00 and I got my 5.00 off my next shopping order. So I rang up the next 10 and because I had better coupons this time...my total was only 4.20 and once again the 5.00 off your next order printed off. Then I rang up the bulk of my order which included the following items, for which I had coupons 2 tubs of ChiChi's Taco Meat, 1 bottle of children's Advil, 3 packages of listerine breath tabs, a can of LaChoy fortune cookies and soy sauce, a package of bumble bee albacore tuna 4 boxes of Totinos pizza rolls, 3 4pk of Bic Razors, 6 boxes of Hamburger Helper, 2 packages of dole fruit cups, and once again 10 pillsbury items which included cresent rolls, sweet rolls, pizza dough, cookie dough, breadsticks, and french loaf. Since I used the U-scan checkout lane I was able to use all 3 of my 5.00 off your order coupons plus all of my coupons for a grand total for that order of 11.07. YIPPEE...that is a savings of 89%.
I was so excited that I wanted to show you what it looked like so I took a picture...here it is.

GROCERY COUPONS!!!

So I figure the title will get a few of you reading because I know for a fact that there are a few stockpilers and couponers in our midst. I have to say that this whole concept is new to me and I would have never tried it had it not been for my sister-in-law and her closet of anything and everything you can imagine and most of them were free or almost free. So I set out on adventure that has turned into a bit of an "game" (some true couponers will understand why I call it a game). Anyway...this month has been extremely nice to me and so tonight I was explaining this new passion of mine to a few people and they asked how much I have save this month and I couldn't give a number so I came home and did a little math. Not granted this is not an average month for shopping because I was building up my stockpile and our Kroger's had super double coupons (doubling 1.00 up to 2.00), so here are the numbers

Out of Pocket	$340.72
Total Savings	$537.67
	mfg coupons	$167.15
	coupons doubled	$144.13
	Kroger Plus Savings	$226.39
Percent of Savings	60.60%
Items Purchased	294

Now this is not just the bulk kind of things...included in these totals are pop, milk, bread, hot dogs, mac and cheese, diapers (essentials for kids) laundry detergent, cleaning supplies and a lot of medicine for colds and flu and a lot of other things that we need or use on a daily basis. But on the bulk side of what I was getting for my buck was 20+ boxes of cereal (now with dates on them so I know which ones to use first), 15 boxes of toothpaste, 10+ deodorants for me and 10+ deodorants for Wayne plus I have about 15 bottles of shampoo and enough toilet paper that I could wrap the world twice.
The neatest thing about this "game" is getting free or almost free stuff. Like I will never pay another dime for toothpaste (that would be paying TOO much). The reason for the incredible amount of cereal is because cereal is one of the items that always seems to be on sale and for under .50 a box with a coupon. So those are just a few examples and I feel I can type about this because my sister-in-law doesn't have a blog and she can't show me up in all of her savings.

That is it. OH one more thing...AFRICA HERE WE COME. We are making plans to go to Africa and we are excited about what God has in store for us there. We are going with an open mind and an open heart and so much excitement. I can't wait. We will be going in October.

I didn't make it...but Wayne did

Strange title and a great sermon this past Sunday. The pastor had a wonderful illustration for the whole congregation. I am going to try to relay what happened but it was definitely a service that was better witnessed first hand. It started out simple enough. We were all handed a card when we entered the sanctuary with 3 questions for salvation

Do you admit that you are a sinner and that you can not save yourself?
Do you believe Jesus Christ died for you sins?
Do you confess your sins now to him and declare him to be your Lord and Savior?

On the other side of this card was a number. So he starts off by having 6 staff members come forward and he asked them these 3 simple questions for which they answer yes to, and he says...now they are saved. Then he asked those same people to pick up props that were sticks with churches on them and he said each of these people represent a church. Then he had 6 volunteers who were the congregation of those prop churches and he told the our congregation that if the prop churches' congregation approached them and asked them those 3 questions then we were to get up and go to the nearest church and stand and follow the rules of that church. So off they went asking several people in the church, Wayne was one of the first and so he got up and went and stood at the nearest church. Then the pastor asked them to stop asking people and watch the big screen. On the screen was a scene of a plane crash that goes up in flames. He said, if you were asked by one of prop churches those questions and you are number 1, then you can make your way to heaven (the stage). If you have a number 1 and no one asked you, please get up and head to the back of the church where the last three rows have been designated as hell. Then he told the churches to continue asking...some churches did, some churches just stood there and talked among themselves but it wasn't long until again they were asked to stop and again...watch the big screen. This time it was an earthquake that had taken the lives of people. The pastor said...if you are a number 2 and someone asked you then make your way to heaven and those who are 2's and didn't get asked head to hell. This went on until the church was divided in half...I was unfortunately a number 4 who never got asked. It was weird...I wanted someone to ask. Wayne could have told me but he had went to a "fellowship" church and they were not allowed to ask anyone they were just there to socialize and have fun with each other, no need to witness. There were tears throughout the church as each person realized that a mother, a father, a son or a daughter had not made it to heaven He then asked everyone to take a seat and then asked if anyone wanted to share their impression. Many of all ages stood to share their heartache as they watched those they love not get asked by anyone. Some shared the joy as they saw their family in heaven. One man in particular said that he was one of the first people who made it to heaven and he had to watch as his family sat and didn't get asked by anyone. He said he ran out of time to ask them himself and he was hoping as he watched from the stage that someone would ask them. It is exactly how I have been feeling for years about my great grandparents as they watch from heaven. Are they thinking...if only I had talked to them more then maybe or are the looking with joy in their eyes as they see each of us come to Christ? So I ask myself am I running out of time on witnessing to anyone and everyone I know about this wonderfully simple message of Christ. Am I relying on someone else to ask?
It struck me that he used the numbers as a way of dividing the church because it is often said...you never know when your number is up.

Why?

Why? That is the question the pastor put out there this morning...why are we here? What is our purpose? We live the first 20+ years of our lives in what we can accomplish first...our first house, our first car, our first house/apartment, our first love...our momentum of life is all about firsts. It is more about what we can achieve, how much money we can obtain, what social status we hold, and we don't have a care in the world.
But it isn't long until we all stop and think "Why am I here?" What is my purpose? Some of look upward for that answer while others start looking for a change of scenery to find their purpose...they get a new car, a new house and often times a new husband or wife. They are not finding the purpose...they are just postponing the question of "why?". Finding our purpose in life is what centers us and brings our life in to context. Matthew 5:14-16 says what our purpose is to be...

14"You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. 15Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. 16In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.

We are to be a light to all who are around us. People need to be able to see "God" in us and recognize it as "God", not as mere characteristics of a nice or generous person. A little bit of light goes a long way in a lost world. We are not just "stuck" in our lives...we have be strategically placed here to impact somebody's life. We shouldn't feel abandoned in the life we have we should find our purpose and be contented with what we have and use what we have to show God to others.
Once again...a great sermon and one much needed by me during this time of reflection and looking for my purpose in life...am I doing what I was placed in life to do?

Out of Control

So the title says it all. I feel out of control of what is happening in my life and in the life of others around me. I have watching the Buck/Grate family struggle with their lives and their many obstacles and wondered what would I do if I were them, what could you do? This week has got me thinking a lot about the power that I hold in my own life. I have realized that I don't have any control of what happens. I have been through a ton of tests this week to determine if I have something wrong with my heart and they are testing some level in my body where the word cancer and tumor has come up and it has me worried. What would I do if it were something? It doesn't seem too long ago that I was asking myself these same questions when I was going through mammogram after mammogram. I have asked these questions when I was going through the death of my father from cancer, and my other times in my life...what am "I" supposed to do about this?
So, I have decided to let God work his magic. It is funny how it takes something like this to jolt us enough to throw our hands up in the air and say...Jesus...YOU TAKE THE WHEEL...I can't do this on my own.
I know I have said this before...but sorry if this doesn't make sense...It was a bit of a rambling blog.

Pray for more...

So today's sermon was on praying and making sure it is not just a routine prayer. We have had a similar sermon earlier this year from Pastor Powell but today the sermon was preached by Brent Fox, our new youth pastor. They had a skit that I thought I would try to redo here...if possible.

This is a one man praying...he starts out...

Our Father which art in heaven...

YES, son?

Baffled the man looks around...and begins again
Our Father which art in heaven...

I said yes...you called my name.

Quit interrupting me...I am trying to pray...and this would go so much faster if I could just get through this and go to bed...this is my nightly ritual...so 'shhhh'
Hallowed be thy name...

Do you know that that means?

Well...NO, I didn't write this prayer...so what does it mean?

It means my name is holy and when you speak it to me I know that you know that I am holy, but continue...

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven...

Really...do you mean it...you want my will to be done. Then lets start with you...

Wait a minute Lord...I go to church, I live a good life, better than some people...

Yeah but they aren't calling on my name right now...you are...so let's focus on you.
You could be living a better life and doing more of my will, living as an example...right?

Right, Lord...of course you are right...aren't you always.
Give us this day our daily bread...pause...

I think you have had enough bread...but continue

I am not sure I want to...you are picking on me...and I already know what you are going to say...

Maybe...but finish...please.

Ok...And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors

What about 'Amy'?

See God I knew you were going to bring her up...but you don't understand...she owes me money and I want it back and if she doesn't pay me the $3.00 she owes me...she is going to be sorry...
you can see why I can't forgive her...would you?

Yes, son I would...but you have to forgive her too...it will make you feel better...I promise...come on, say it with me...I forgive Amy.

I forgive Amy...you are right...I do feel better...
And now the anger and discord is on Amy...not you.
Ok...well I am going to finish this up Lord...this is taking a little longer than I am used to...
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil...

But have you forgotten that you need to remove yourself from places of temptation? Don't put yourself in a place where you know you can't handle...

But Lord...I don't know what you mea....OK...you are right there is that one thing...I will work on it.
For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen.
WHEW...Glad that is over with..

Thank you son...for your time...talk to you soon.

It is so often that we pray our ritual prayers and forget the meaning behind it or forget that we are having a conversation with God. Not just reading a book or listening to a teacher talk but we are having an ongoing conversation with God.

So as we go forward and Wayne and I pray about this possible mission trip to Africa...pray that we can be open to God's will for us and that we can fulfill what we are sent there to do. I added the song "Open the eyes of my heart"...I think it is fitting right now for what we need to do...let him talk to us.

Current Conditions Updated: 1153 PM EDT SUN FEB 4 2007	Sun & Moon Information
Clear Temp: 1°F Humidity: 65% Wind Speed: W 8 MPH Barometer: 30.27 in. Dewpoint: -8°F Heat Index: 1°F Wind Chill: -13°F	Civil Twilight: 8:11 AMEDT Moon Phase: Waning Gibbous Moon Sunrise: 8:40 AM EDT Sunset: 6:53 PM EDT Civil Twilight: 7:21 PMEDT

This post is for my brother...These are the current tempatures in OHIO!!! Wish you were here.

I haven't blog in a while because I am looking for the right thing to blog about. There really isn't much going on in my life right now but the kids are sleeping...so that will change in a few hours. Oh...I did get to go to a wonderful Super Bowl party...and THE COLTS WON!!! YEAH! No real surprise for me except I did have a few worries after the first play of the game...but if you are from Ohio you know that it is not the first play of a game that decides the winner.
I have still been going to church...more choir practice on Wednesdays than Sunday services...I was sick last weekend...which is why there was no summary of the sermon. This week he spoke about spreading the gospel through missions. Which has got me thinking...South Africa may not be a bad place to visit. We will be praying on whether or not God wants us to go. It is not until October so I have a lot of praying to do. I told someone that if it the tempature hits 88 tomorrow...then I know that God has sent a sign that we are supposed to go...Just kidding! So pray for Wayne and I that we can make this decision and if we do that we can get the finances for the trip all worked out.
Anyway...We had Wayne's mom and dad's 50th anniversary party this weekend and all was smooth sailing...ALMOST! It was very nice and I think everything went pretty much the way would have wanted it with a few surprises along the way. I am taking off planning anymore major functions for a couple of months. So for Josh's birthday...Buffalo Wild Wings...here we come.
Well it is late and I am extremely tired....I am starting to mixspelt my wordz. So sleeep I mut got.

New Blog...Aren't you excited?!?!

So this is going to be my weekly sermon summary...
This week's sermon was from Joshua 24:15
"As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord"

He spoke mostly to the parents in the audience who are trying to raise their children in the church. He talked on how we need to be responsible to God in order to produce Godly children. What our children are being taught in all other aspects of their daily life is that there is no absolutes...that God's "law" has been replaced by God's "Love". He said we have replaced being respected by our children for be liked by them. We are not friends we are parents. With being a parent comes friendship. Not the other way around

Ephesians 6:1 says:
1Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2"Honor your father and mother"—which is the first commandment with a promise— 3"that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth."[a] 4Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
Don't give up on your children just because they reach that magical age of 18. We need to continue to teach for as long as we are living.

He said that even the Old Testament laws were upheld even in the New Testament in the book of Matthew 5.

The Fulfillment of the Law
17 "Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. 18 I tell you the truth, until heaven and earth disappear, not the smallest letter, not the least stroke of a pen, will by any means disappear from the Law until everything is accomplished. 19 Anyone who breaks one of the least of these commandments and teaches others to do the same will be called least in the kingdom of heaven, but whoever practices and teaches these commands will be called great in the kingdom of heaven. 20 For I tell you that unless your righteousness surpasses that of the Pharisees and the teachers of the law, you will certainly not enter the kingdom of heaven."

Teaching like these nullify God's expectations of what we are to be like as Christians. TEACH your children as it is said,

Deuteronomy 4:9-10

9 Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them. 10 Remember the day you stood before the LORD your God at Horeb, when he said to me, "Assemble the people before me to hear my words so that they may learn to revere me as long as they live in the land and may teach them to their children."

Deuteronomy 6:6-7
6 These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

If we fail to teach our children the word of God the following will result

1. Darkness in their soul
2. Lessened understanding of God's perspective
3. Human standards replace divine standards
4. The will spend their life in a frantic and frustrated search for happiness
5. They will devise their own system for pleasing God, more alienated from the Bible

So that is the summary...or what I gathered from it. I really enjoy the way he puts things and backs everything with scripture. It is like these last few years for me have been "light bulb" moments when it comes to church, I am finally getting it. So I guess what I was thinking after this sermon was, if we question the right or wrong in something that we are teaching them, first we need to search out the answer in the bible, pray about it and if still unsure of the answer...stick with the side of caution. I don't want to be a stumbling block for my children or their children. I want to be able to show them what is right and wrong and not teach them what is the just OK stuff because that can be where they will stray. The gray area is what makes so many of us stray and wonder...if it is OK for some and not OK for all, so who is right? Teach them to have an open mind to the things that others believe but to KNOW what they believe so that they can be an example to those who are not sure on their beliefs. (Does that make sense?)
I guess I better stop because I am afraid that I am not getting my point across and the more I talk sometimes the more confused people seem to get. Shhh....I tell myself.

One more thing...The song "Your grace still amazes me" has been added back for you Angie.

Memories

Hi...the pictures I had up here was messing up my page so I have taken them down...I will post them on an older blog later...Check back for location.

Bad week...

So my week or weekend was the pits to say the least. I have cried so much that the tears won't even fall anymore. I don't know what I thought it would be like to lose a parent but I didn't expect it to be this hard. I feel nothing right now...numb most people would say. I am not sure how long it will last. This whole thing has opened my eyes to what death can do to a family. I would like to say it brings everyone closer but I am beginning to wonder if the different greiving processes didn't almost destroy us. It is hard to figure out what to do right after someone passes away. I wanted to pick the things out that I thought my dad would have wanted but I didn't know what he wanted and is it really worth fighting when we all needed to pull together to help each other. I wanted to focus on the here and now and others wanted to look into the future. I don't know how to compromise my process with someone else's. For me it was too hard to sit in his house and see all of his stuff just sitting as if he had just been plucked from the room. I wanted to spend all the time I could with my kids so their life wouldn't be disrupted and they wouldn't feel as if I wasn't absent from their lives. I just wanted to do my greiving my way...no one telling me how. I spent my Sunday morning at church as always because it brought me peace and I sang in the choir so that I could "thank" God for his mercy and grace. For me that was important. I sat through a sermon that I would have been upset to have known I missed. It was a good release for me. And so here is my sermon summary...

PRAY BIG...Pray for something this year and from now on that ONLY God could give you.
Pray big so that God knows that you understand how mighty he is. Don't give up. Don't expect the answer tomorrow or a week from now. Be presistant. Don't let the "wrong" answer to your prayer make you stop praying for the "right" answer. (wrong for you, right for you). If someone had stopped praying for me, I would not be in church but they never gave up. It was in God's time, not theirs. It is Ok to pray for your dinner and to say your nightly thank you prayer to God but don't let those be what you consider your prayer life. Pick something that you are passionate about and pray until you get the answer...

So that is a quick summary... I would type more but I can't get all of my words to filter out of my brain right now.

One more thing...I want to personally thank Mark for all of his visits to see my dad and for doing an awesome job at the graveside service. I don't think any of us will know the impact that you had on him. Thanks again.

It is finished...

The battle is over...January 11, 2007 at 9:20 am, my father passed away. He went very peacefully, thank God. I want to thank everyone for all of their thoughts and prayers. He leaves behind his wife Loretta, his sons, John, Tom and Justin and me, his daughter. He will be missed for years to come by his grandchildren, Kaitlyn, Samuel, Joshua, Tyler and Lauren (his unborn grandchild). This has been a very rough day for all of us. Please continue to pray for all of us during this time.



God saw you getting tired
and a cure was not to be,
so he put his arms around you,
and whispered "Come to me".
With tearful eyes we watched you,
and saw you pass away.
Although we loved you dearly,
we could not make you stay.
A golden heart stopped beating,
hard working hands at rest,
God broke our hearts to prove to us
He only takes the best.

Sermon Notes...

So I haven't written about the sermon lately...mostly because we haven't been to church. Since we have been back from vacation at Thanksgiving we have been to church, I think twice because of sickness and holiday celebrations. So this Sunday I was ready for a good sermon and I was not let down. The pastor spoke on making vows/resolutions and keeping them. He shared his vows for the new year...

1. Pay his Tithe
2. Go to Church
3. Be a holiness pastor
4. Keep all his committments
5. Stand "with" God

First he said we should all be tithing but he makes a vow to continue to tithe as he has for years. No surpise I am sure for all of you out there but he explains it better than anyone. It is not about giving what you have to the church but to God, who has given you so much.

Malachi 3:10
Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this," says the LORD Almighty, "and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it.

His second vow was to come to church no matter where he was at. Whether on vacation, whether it was really nice out and he could be golfing, whether he had the sniffles or was tired. He said that unless he was traveling on Sunday, he would be there and if he couldn't be there he would take time to worship that day. He encouraged all of us to be there no matter what so that we can let God know how much we love and respect him. This was one for me since I was tempted to skip because I was so tired. Glad I made myself go...

Psalm 95:1-7a

1 Come, let us sing for joy to the LORD;
let us shout aloud to the Rock of our salvation.

2 Let us come before him with thanksgiving
and extol him with music and song.

3 For the LORD is the great God,
the great King above all gods.

4 In his hand are the depths of the earth,
and the mountain peaks belong to him.

5 The sea is his, for he made it,
and his hands formed the dry land.

6 Come, let us bow down in worship,
let us kneel before the LORD our Maker;

7 for he is our God
and we are the people of his pasture,
the flock under his care.

The third vow...to preach holiness. Holiness because we are a holiness church. No apologizing for preaching what the bible clearly states us all to be...Holy. Living as if we are the body of Christ. Living on the edge of holiness is not going to get you there.

Leviticus 19:2

"Speak to the entire assembly of Israel and say to them: 'Be holy because I, the LORD your God, am holy.'

His fourth vow...to keep committments. He talked to anyone who has volunteered for things in the church such as becoming a member of the choir or helping with the children downstairs, if you say you will help then help. No backing out or not showing up...I will raise my hand to not fullfilling all of my committments, but I am right there with him on making sure I am following through.

His fifth vow and the one vow that he is the most passionate about is standing with God. He spoke of how this generation is not committed to their marriages. He also spoke about how the churches are not mourning over those divorces as they used to. He said that the vow before God is so sacred. And that he is going to stand by what God says about marriage...(this one is a bit longer).

1 Corinthians 7

Marriage

1Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry.^[a] 2But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. 3The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. 5Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6I say this as a concession, not as a command. 7I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that. 8Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. 9But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. 10To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. 11But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife. 12To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. 15But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. 16How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife? 17Nevertheless, each one should retain the place in life that the Lord assigned to him and to which God has called him. This is the rule I lay down in all the churches.

I know that was a bit long but it was so worth sharing. We all need to make new committments and vows to ourselves...
Here is some of mine for this year and years to come...

1. Spend more time laughing with the kids and less time yelling at them for "spilled milk"
2. Spend more time with my extended family...schedule game night (thanks Jones' for the idea)
3. Spend time appreciating the wonderful husband I have and less time worrying about what is not getting done.
4. Work on being patient (Please...I don't need any prayers on my behalf for this, if you know what I mean)
5. Most importantly...work on my relationship with God and scheduling time with him so I don't lose my way again.

This year's resolution...

I want this year to be a year of kept promises and living for today and not tomorrow. If you have been reading my blogs over this last year you know that my tomorrows are becoming less important than what is happening "today". The pastor this past week talked about making more time for the things that are important to us. If we try to cram in everything that the doctor's say we need, sleep, exercise, meditation, eating right, plus working and doing all of the thing that an average person needs to get done...we would need 36 hours a day to get it all done. What the experts leave out is our time with God. What we all sometimes leave out is our time with God. I know that this year I have been leaning on God more than ever but not giving him my time like I should. Letting him have complete control...boy is that a hard one. As I reflect on my year...it has been my most insightful year spiritually but one of my toughest physically and emotionally. What is amazing is I feel good about my year. I feel calm and happier than I ever have been. While I still have a tough road ahead with my dad and worrying about Joshua and Samuel...I really don't feel the stress that I would have felt had I not had this wonderful year with Christ. I am looking forward to spending the "time" with God this year. I am sure he has some wonderful things to show me.
I am going to post a few pictures of the kids at Christmas...and the beautiful tree is my mom's. She did such a wonderful job and we all had a great time at her house on Christmas Eve...even with the little fire we had. (Don't Ask).

Christmas....

So it is almost here and maybe, just maybe, Santa got a little carried away this year. I told myself a dozen times that Santa doesn't make what grandpa Santa makes but I didn't let that stop me. I blame it all on Amazon. I am addicted. There are probably support groups for people like me who find Amazon...start shopping....and can't stop. And the worst part or the best part (depending on who you are) they gave me this FREE credit card. It is so easy to spend on a credit card the first time...before you get the bill. Did I mention that Wayne is working 30 hours of overtime this week and almost 40 next. He hasn't said it is to bail me out of this debt hole that I created but I know that is what he is thinking. All of that to say...it is going to be a great Christmas in every sense of the worldly view of Christmas. Lots and Lots of presents. I did figure out why parents tell their children about Santa not being real. The other day I spent a good hour convincing Sam that he would get more from Santa than the 2 things that he put on his list. He was sure that Santa wouldn't know what he liked and because his list was so short, he would only get those ideas and he was devestated. It was at this point that I felt like yelling...I AM SANTA...I KNOW WHAT YOU LIKE....YOU WILL GET MORE THAN 2 THINGS...AND YOU WILL HAVE A MERRY CHRISTMAS!...but I didn't. So as this wonderful season comes and soon passes...I have nothing to reflect on except the future of bills and disconnected utilities....hopefully SANTA bought him a flashlight. We are going to be starting a new tradition this year...Christmas at Mom's. Well...maybe I shouldn't set it in stone as a tradition until we see how this year goes. I know we are all excited. I am more so this year because Samuel seems to be really excited. In order to keep this short, I will say...Merry Christmas and will post next week some pictures.

Running behind...

I seem to be running behind on the whole Christmas season. I haven't sent out cards with our nice picture on it nor have I decorated one thing in my entire house. Don't think that our house has not been decorated, it has, by my husband. He hung Christmas lights around the house, put up the Christmas tree and decorated it better than I have (don't tell him that), and he put out christmas"y" stuff on shelves and anywhere he can find to put things. It is beginning to look like Christmas around here. I have a good excuse this time for not helping, I have been sick. Sure he has been sick too but not AS sick as me. I have managed to do all of our Christmas shopping. I was a bit lazy about it too...I bought everything online. How did I ever shop before?!?! They make it so easy now..."Free shipping", door to door service and I get the satisfaction of getting to open each box like it is Christmas for me. The UPS guy makes a stop at our house about twice a day because Amazon ships almost everything in it's own box because each thing comes from different manufacturers. I get excited to see what we are going to get each day. I want everyone to know that I have enjoyed reading each of your blogs and watching every get excited about Christmas that I decided to join in on the fun of letting you pick what could have been a really great Christmas card. The idea of letting you all decide came to me one night as I was sleeping and thought...I know I will let you all pick between a couple of pictures. I noticed that on a few other blogs that they had the same dream as me so if they say I stole the idea well...it's true. I tried to find photos that showed how our family is on a daily basis and not for a simple photo shoot.

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2 Weeks and no post...

Well it has been awhile since my last post and it seems that a lot has happened. I would like to say that I was so busy that I didn't have time to blog, but not true. I have been putting it off for fear no one would read. My life at this particular time is not one full of a lot of jokes and I don't want people to feel sorry for me. But today I decided...too bad. This is what is going on, read if you want.
I have been thinking a lot lately about tomorrows. I say this because my dad is a person who lives for tomorrow. Tomorrow he will get out of the one bedroom apartment that he has been living in for over 18 years and buy a house, Tomorrow he will spend more time with his family, Tomorrow he will spend his money on more than just himself, Tomorrow he will make his life right with God, Tomorrow he will live like it is his last. Well...as his tomorrows quickly fade I wonder what he is thinking. Is he thinking...if only I had a little more time, more tomorrows. Would it change anything? Would he change? Everytime I talk to him he gets teary eyed and sometimes cries, not something he ever did until he realized his tomorrows were limited. I wonder is he regretting things or is he just sad for himself. So I ponder over and over in my mind...am I living for today or am I looking at tomorrow to fix the problems in my life. Just something to think about.

In the midst of all that is going on with my dad, Wayne and I and the kids made our annual trip to Florida. We went on the coldest week of the year. It was so windy and cold that we spent most of the time inside. We did get to see the grandparents and enjoy watching them interact with our kids. With my above topic about tomorrows it makes all the times that they get to spend with my grandparents even more special for me. I loved watching as Josh and Grandma took off on her scooter when we first got there and Grandpa and Sam (best boys) taking off on grandpa's scooter. We didn't even get hugs...they just were in heaven getting to spend time with their grandkids. After that we spent ninety percent of our time with grandparents and really had a good time. We were planning our next trip before we left. We also got to visit with my brother and his family. The kids played with each other like they see each other every day. No fighting. It was amazing. I also was introduced to the stockpile (or inhouse grocery store) that my brother's wife has from all of her couponing. It is very impressive and inspiring. It made me want to come home and start shopping for freebies.

After a very long trip (don't stay at Days Inn EVER), and hours and hours of driving. We made it home and quickly fell back into our lives. This first week back has been a bit of a blur. I did make it out one day shopping with Sarah and spent a few dollars on myself (which always makes me feel better), and I shopped and shopped online for Christmas. I think I am completely done with buying for the kids. I just have a few more people on my list to buy for.

Yesterday, I got up and didn't feel like going to church so Wayne got the kids ready and was getting ready to fix breakfast when I decided...I wasn't THAT sick. I am always afraid I am going to miss something if I don't go, so I got ready and went. I am so glad that I did. This is the start of our revival at church with Evangelist Bond. He is so good. I like any pastor who can back up everything they say with scripture. Not just reading it but showing where to find it. He spoke about holiness and sanctification, things that are not talked about too much and more in holiness churches. I had the opportunity to explain what I thought santification meant while I was at the ladies retreat last month and hearing him explain it again yesterday made me feel better that the explanation that I gave was accurate. Backing up my belief that God will change you as you grow in your faith. You won't always be wanting to do the things that may not be pleasing to God if you have made the commitment. That we become children of God so we will start to model what our Father does. I know that almost every boy or girl has wanted at sometime to make their daddy proud. If we viewed our relationship with God in that same light we would go out of our way to show God that we are his children and that he has a lot to be proud of. He spoke about the guilt of your past will not haunt you because God is not a God of guilt. If you give into guilty thoughts it is Satan working on you and tempting you and harassing you not God. It was a powerful and insightful thought that I had not really heard before. I love learning new things. So my weeks have ended on a good note. I feel more at peace about what I need to do in my life today...not tomorrow.

OH...one more thing... I got the family pictures taken yesterday... here is my favorite.

And life goes on...

It is weird to me how everyone else's life seems to be moving along when mine seems to have slowed way down and everything takes on a whole new meaning. As mentioned in many of my other blog entries, my dad has terminal cancer. We were told on September 1st that the cancer from 2 years ago that he had in his lung (which they said they got it all) had re-occured in his brain and liver. At the time the doctors told him he would have a good 2 years to enjoy his family and even though that didn't seem like long, it was a lifetime when you consider the type of cancer. Well...the 2 years has turned into 2-6 months because the radiation that they did on his brain cancer didn't really shrink the tumors that much and his brain can not handle anymore radiation unless it was very direct doses on the tumors. This was the option that was offered to him this past weekend as he lay in Riverside but with the warning that EVEN IF they did the radiation it might not help and if it did help, it would not increase his life span significantly. The only help that he could get from this type of radiation would be that the seizures that he had for over 2 days could subside, but no guarantee. And the chemo that he was having for his liver was not going to increase his life span either...so the decision was made. No more treatments. Not a decision by us his family but by him. Not an easy decision to make or one that anyone would want to make. Is it really considered giving up? I personally didn't want to him to have any more treatments because they wore him out and knocked his white blood cells so low that he could die from a common cold. So I can hope and pray that the little bit of time he has he can build back up his energy and with the right cocktail of drugs he can be as comfortable he can be and maybe he can enjoy the little amount of time he has left with his grandkids and family. Someone asked me if he was a Christian tonight. Our pastor came down to the hospital and prayed with my dad and asked him if he was right with God and my dad said that he was ready and at peace. So if you ask me today I have to say "yes". I told that person that maybe God has a bigger book than me. By my standards he isn't ready but who am I to step in between a relationship between God and my dad. Maybe God has a smaller book...one with less rules and more grace than any of us can wrap our minds around. MAYBE...just MAYBE. I want to thank everyone for their prayers during this time and for times to come. It is a rough road and seemingly narrow road that we must walk sometimes but with our eyes on the cross we will never get lost. Thank you Jesus for opening my eyes and letting me see you even in the darkest times and giving me the strengh I have needed to be there for my dad.

"How Long?"

"How Long?" seems like a fitting title for this blog. It has been the theme of the weekend. Starting on Thursday we have been asking "How Long?" How Long will my dad be having a seizure? How long will it take for them to get it to stop? How long will it take for us to get him to Riverside? How long will it take for the doctors to tell us what is going on? How long will be he be in the hospital? How long will he need to continue with chemo and radiation if the cancer is uncureable? and today...How long will he live?
That one is the toughest for the doctors to tell us. It seems they have this well oiled way of skirting around that question. Is it a couple of months, a month, a week, or a day. So we wait. Tomorrow I have decided will only bring more questions...if he has surgery, will it help, will it kill him or will he become a vegatable? If he opts to have radiation instead of surgery, will it be worth it and is it safe with everything else going on to operate on a man who has diabetes and liver cancer. And there is NO guarantee....that is the only guarantee from the doctors. So what to do. Accept it...OF course and PRAY. Pray that he has peace about what is happening to him and Pray that his family has the strength to face this and be there for him any way we can.