That has been the topic of many discussions over the last month or so. I have discussed with several people who were raised "in" the church, as I have, about why we all came back to the church. I guess it all starts as to why we left in the first place. I left to find out what I believed for myself. Sure I found a few things that were fun in the process or activities that seemed to bring me happiness but nothing that sustained me. Nothing like what I have today with Christ. I left because I was raised in the church...does that make sense? I know some don't always go through this process (which I am sure their parents are glad) but for me it was a necessity. I needed to know what I believed for me and no one else...not for my mom, my grandparents or some loyalty to a church that I had attended but for me. I have always relied on others to tell me right from wrong. To dance or not to dance, to drink or not to drink, to play cards or not play cards, what is appropriate attire for Sunday and what is not. I looked to the "people" in the church for the answers to all of those questions and then I sat back and watched to see if they really believed their answer. This is where my heart grew cold toward the church. I saw those same people who said it was wrong to dance, out dancing, those who said it was wrong to drink, have a small glass with their dinner, and some who dressed to impress play the same cards that they had said were so wrong. The problem was not those people, it was me. I had put my belief in them and not in HIM. I had let their failures or mis-steps interfere with my beliefs. I had let my judgements become my beliefs and the "See they are no better than me" motto rule my life. The great thing about that statement is that it is true...they are no better than me and I am no better than them. I have my hang ups and I have my struggles and I don't know all the answers but I am human and with the human nature comes imperfection.
So why did I come back? I came back because in all of my searching for who I was I lost myself and some where deep inside of myself I knew that getting closer to God was probably my only chance at true happiness. I also wanted my kids to have some sort of basis so that they would have a place to come back to if they decide to explore like I did. I want them to have that little voice in them that warns them when they are skirting the line between world and God called convictions.
As you get older you say...if I knew then what I know now...well...knowing now what I looked for then, I am going to try to live as close to God and how he wants me to be as I can so that those people looking for me to trip up will have to look a little harder. I don't want to be anyone's stumbling block.
Romans 14:13
Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother's way.
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5 comments:
I, also, was raised in the church. I didn't have as long to explore my beliefs, thankfully. In all my endevours to be rebellious, I was only successful in getting hurt and having the scars and some still are wounds of my rebellious ways. I'm thankful and I see know that God had his hand in all that happened. I put myself in some dangerous and stupid situations, but God was there protecting me. Kinda like how our bible study. King Neb was cut down to go through a huge trial, but he was protected and only allowed to experience what he had to to get the point. I get the point. God is in control and if I choose to rebel, I will only be left with wounds and scars.
Praise God he forgives and he can bring healing.
You make me proud!! You have said it all in this blog!! I am so happy that you came back!! I prayed for you and I knew God would bring you back!! He is a awesome God!!! None of us are perfect but we can live for God and try our best to be what he would have us to be. Keep up the good work!!
Love ya,
Marsha
Well, you did it again, just make me proud. Everytime I read your blog or we talk or you share I have to look at you real close to see if you are the same person. You were always sweet and a good person but you had a mind of your own and you needed to taste it, feel it and try it before you believed it could hurt you. But each day before I go to sleep at night I thank God for His grace and mercy that kept you safe from harm and redirected you gently but firmly.
I love you........... mom
You are so awesome Kim! You inspire me each day to be better.
Love you!
I enjoyed your blog. Your sure know how to put your thoughts down on paper.I have lots of memories. I use to wonder if I was condemed by God or by people.I always worried, "what people would think"and I know now that isn't the way it is. We all have to find our place in God's Family, the way we are to live our lives. God is so good He won't demand us to live a life that is impossible for us to live. Isn't that Great. We are so proud of you and your desire to live for God.You have a wonderful church and pastor's. Love, Grandma
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