So I was thinking I couldn't let my brother have all the glory or the jokes....so I decided to start my blog. This week I have been giving alot of thought about a new career. I thought maybe I could be a mechanic but I don't like anything on my hands. Then I thought maybe I could be a chef but I wouldn't be able to serve chicken (the thought of it on my hands, some of you understand). So I am thinking maybe I should try my hand at comedy and boy did the ideas start flowing. I decided to name my book "Seafoam pants and gray shirts". This idea came to me as I was sitting in the doctors office and looked over and saw a lady with that exact outfit on. It wasn't any gray shirt either...it was one that had been worn since about 1985 (New Kids on the Block to be exact). It had holes where there shouldn't be holes. Her seafoam green pants not only were ugly based on the color but THEY WERE VELVELTY. AGH! And if that were not enough, I think she had enough grease in her hair that on a hot day you could fry an egg on her head. It would have been so bad if I hadn't seen her sister later in the day going in the library wearing blue and black checkered shorts, a tan shirt and bright neon pink tennis shoes. I say they are sisters based on the fact that they both had a mullett. MAYBE I shouldn't assume but come on...
I came to the obvious conclusion that they have no friends. I mean if you had friends and people who loved you and want you to be the best that you could be, you would think they would tell you when you are getting ready to step out into public looking that way. I would hope that my friends would tell me if they ever see me in white jeans and my "I LIKE HIS MONEY" cut off T-shirt and flip flops...maybe this not appropriate for you.
My second chapter for my book would be called...NO, I AM SURE...
this is to all of you well meaning parents and grandparents who ask the same question 10 times but in different ways. Maybe you are even this way sometimes...STOP. I talking about when you go to someone's house and they ask you if you would like something to drink. You politely say no thank you. A couple of minutes later it is followed up with..."Are you sure, I have tea, water, pop, milk...ETC". Once again you are polite. Then that same person that you have told them no twice, gets up and goes to their kitchen. You wonder what could they be doing, so you peek, they are making tea. When you question them, they reply "I thought I had tea and I know you like tea so I thought I would just make some real quick". You say..."that is nice but I am really not that thirsty". Before long they have poured themselves a glass of tea and you suddenly feel that they are getting ready to ask again. You brace yourself...they don't ask, they just pour and slide it over to you with the quiet comment..."you don't have to drink it". You say thanks but you are really thinking something else. So you take the glass and start to drink and they slide in one more comment..."NOW wasn't that refreshing". I have a wonderful and I mean wonderful grandmother that I used to stay with a lot when I was younger. And let me say really quick, she has already heard me tell this story this way. Anyway, I was about 15 or 16 and knowledgable enough to set the alarm clock for school the next day, so I set it for 7:00 am, just enough time to get ready and out the door. My grandmother asked as I was preparing what time I thought I would get up the next morning, I told her, I set the alarm for 7:00 and she said OK. I went off into dreamland and was enjoying my sleep until I heard a little voice...Kim...Kim....KIM. I awoke to find my grandmother standing at the side of the bed. (I looked for the FIRE...but nothing) I looked at the clock it was 6:00. Then she said..."What time did you say you wanted to get up?" "NOW is good." was my not so polite reply. For which she followed up with "Oh...well then go back to sleep".

So these are a few of my stories...more to come. Look for "Let's sit here a minute" and "I am ready to work"